All or Nothing. Balls to the Wall. I’ll sleep when I die. You only live once. More is better. Don’t be a pussy. Any of those phrases sound familiar? I’m sure they do. I used to be that way. I used to think the more I worked out, the better my results would be. I used to think the harder I worked out the better my results would be. I used to think I could stay up late and get up early. I used to think I could eat more because I worked hard and dammit I was entitled. 

But then, I fucking grew up.

Not very many people can get by without resting their bodies. And if you think they don’t need that rest, you are sadly mistaken. Your body needs to recover. That is where the magic of results happens. 

I used to work out every single day. It was a badge. A -look at what I can do-badge. A -look how important I am-badge. The sad truth was I was doing my body no good. I was not getting results. My sleep was crappy. I was tired all the damn time. I felt like crap.

I’ve learned to rest my body. I take 3 strength training days a week. I either do a few bike rides or walks as active recoveries or completely rest. It’s hard though, I get it. I LOVE to work out. 

It’s definitely a shift in mindset. I remember thinking I’m going to lose my mind. I wanted to panic. I thought I wasn’t working out enough. But, the thing, because there is always a thing, I was not seeing any progress. My body was not changing, in fact it was getting worse. I was gaining weight, my strength was decreasing, I was not happy and I felt like crap. 

It didn’t take long to learn the value of rest. My body had time to recover. It was able to recover. Then the next time I had a strength day, I felt like a million bucks! I am not kidding. It’s amazing how strong a person feels after rest! What a concept. A concept that is so foreign to so many people. 

It’s so ironic. We always think more is better. It is so hard in this day and age of go, go, go, more, more, more, faster, faster, faster. We never think we need to rest. We think if we don’t work out more, we are going to gain more weight. We think the working out part is the answer. We never think the rest part or the nutrition part is the answer. Too simple. Too easy. Instead we have to overcomplicate it, just like everything we do. 

More is not better. More is just more. But if you still are panicking because you think you need more and you aren’t sure how to get quality workouts in, then you pay attention to your workouts. You pay attention to how your body is responding. You pay attention to how you feel during your workout and after resting. 

During your workouts, you can focus on the technique – make sure you aren’t half-assing it. It is super easy to just go through the motions. Make sure your motions are spot on. 

Increase the weight when it’s appropriate. You should know when that is. You should be able to feel yourself getting stronger. 

You can add reps, you can tempo up your reps, speed up or slow down or a combination of both. 

Get after it during your workouts, don’t be hanging on your phone during your workout. Pay attention to what you are doing. Give yourself the attention you deserve. 

Then you rest. You will start seeing more progress when you are letting your body recover. Your body will thank you by showing up for you. Your body will thank you for letting it have the rest and letting it get more sleep. 

Rest is the magic pill you guys. I say it all the time. It, along with how you are eating, are the drivers of your progress. If you want to be working out into your 90s, well then you better learn how to rest.  Make your rest days your BFF and develop that relationship. 

The place you go do die. That’s what she called it. That’s what she said. Was she ready? Is anyone ever, really? She had no choice. It was what was happening. The train was rolling. There was no stopping. My heart hurt. She was so brave. So much dignity and so much grace. 

My mind just knows when it’s close. I always feel different. I always feel less settled and sometimes agitated. Funny, the internal clock. The ticking. The tocking. It always lets me know. 

January 16 is the day. She was only 50. Way too young. 

Sub Acute Care Center. That is what it’s called. That is what she called “the place you go to die.” Never getting out. Never coming back. The slap in the face realization of what is to come. No future to come. 

Christmas in the hospital is never fun for anyone. She kept her spirits up. She was a strong, strong woman. Those days are a blur, yet the end is like it was yesterday. Gathered around her bed in the room. The room at the place you go to die. Watching her gracefully slip away. 

Continue to rest in peace Sandy. 

When I went to feel all the feels, I find a song. It has to be a thinking song. A song that makes me cry. It makes me think. It makes me grateful. A song that makes me feel things. Today was a day like that. 

It started pretty much like any other Saturday. Errands, eating, coffee. I initially planned on working out, but then started studying and I knew I needed to get my butt in gear on this current certification. Assignment #4 was giving me trouble. It wasn’t hard, just time consuming. I knew I just needed to make that a priority today. 

When I study or when I am working at home I always play music. Usually it is the playlist Peaceful Piano on Spotify. Today, I wanted more. Today, I needed more. 

Sometimes when I get stressed out, I don’t feel like I am stressed out and then this is what happens. The music happens. The crying happens. I realize that IS how I relieve my stress. It doesn’t happen too often. Maybe every few months. It just depends on what is going on my life. 

Today was a day like that. Sitting here. Working on my assignment. Listening to “Remember When” by Alan Jackson. On repeat, over and over. Listening to the lyrics. Really listening to that song. Going through life. Going through it. Vowing the vows and walking the walk and giving our hearts. That was us. That was John and me. 

I’m sitting here letting myself feel. Letting myself feel the music. “Remember when, 30 seemed so old. Now looking back, it’s just a stepping stone, to where we are, where we’ve been, said we’d do it all again, remember when?” 

“Remember when, we said when we turned gray, when the children grow up and move away, we won’t be sad, we’ll be glad for all the life we’ve had, and we’ll remember when.” 

So, I’ve been working for hours. Slowing feeling less stressed. Slowing letting it melt away. John walked by and now I grab him and make him slow dance with me. We both feel the music, we both feel our love that has not wavered one time since we first laid eyes on each other in May of 1997. There is no doubt our love was meant to be. The timing. The synchronicity. Every little thing that came before us, every little piece of life we lived before us, every action and reaction that came before us. What if something was different? What if something changed? What if something the night we met didn’t happen? We never would have met. We never would have come together. We never would have found each other. We never would have gotten married. We never would have had Tayler.

I thank God every single day for this life and this man. I am so glad for all the life we’ve had.