When I went to feel all the feels, I find a song. It has to be a thinking song. A song that makes me cry. It makes me think. It makes me grateful. A song that makes me feel things. Today was a day like that.
It started pretty much like any other Saturday. Errands, eating, coffee. I initially planned on working out, but then started studying and I knew I needed to get my butt in gear on this current certification. Assignment #4 was giving me trouble. It wasn’t hard, just time consuming. I knew I just needed to make that a priority today.
When I study or when I am working at home I always play music. Usually it is the playlist Peaceful Piano on Spotify. Today, I wanted more. Today, I needed more.
Sometimes when I get stressed out, I don’t feel like I am stressed out and then this is what happens. The music happens. The crying happens. I realize that IS how I relieve my stress. It doesn’t happen too often. Maybe every few months. It just depends on what is going on my life.
Today was a day like that. Sitting here. Working on my assignment. Listening to “Remember When” by Alan Jackson. On repeat, over and over. Listening to the lyrics. Really listening to that song. Going through life. Going through it. Vowing the vows and walking the walk and giving our hearts. That was us. That was John and me.
I’m sitting here letting myself feel. Letting myself feel the music. “Remember when, 30 seemed so old. Now looking back, it’s just a stepping stone, to where we are, where we’ve been, said we’d do it all again, remember when?”
“Remember when, we said when we turned gray, when the children grow up and move away, we won’t be sad, we’ll be glad for all the life we’ve had, and we’ll remember when.”
So, I’ve been working for hours. Slowing feeling less stressed. Slowing letting it melt away. John walked by and now I grab him and make him slow dance with me. We both feel the music, we both feel our love that has not wavered one time since we first laid eyes on each other in May of 1997. There is no doubt our love was meant to be. The timing. The synchronicity. Every little thing that came before us, every little piece of life we lived before us, every action and reaction that came before us. What if something was different? What if something changed? What if something the night we met didn’t happen? We never would have met. We never would have come together. We never would have found each other. We never would have gotten married. We never would have had Tayler.
I thank God every single day for this life and this man. I am so glad for all the life we’ve had.