Hello December

It’s Sunday. I’m looking out the window in the library. Hello December. Snow. Lots of snow. The wind has subsided and we are no longer having a blizzard. December you are coming in mad. It is calm and pretty. The snow is deep. The trees are covered. I am drinking water and listening to the TV as John is out in the living room watching something. I hear him talking to the animals. Koko the cat and the dogs, Jack and Nora.  

I am contemplating my workout for the day. Getting ready. Motivating myself. Pushing weights and walking on the Tread is what I have planned. I am in a good place with my workouts and with my health. I feel strong. I feel good. 

Thanksgiving is over. My favorite month is over. It flew by and I feel like I was present for it all. Sometimes the months are a blur and it seems like I remember nothing about them. Sometimes I  don’t care if I remember anything about them. So many things to do. So many things to get done. Slow down child. Slow down. 

Now I am in the kitchen making crack snack. I can hear the oven fan and Nora barking outside. Peaceful Piano is on the speaker. I am thinking. 

I see things or hear things and I write them in my notebook or in the notes app on my phone. Phrases I can’t push away. Phrases that remind something. Phrases I want to use in my writing or things I want to write about. 

Today something is going through the maze of my brain. If looking above it is like a corn maze. The word. It’s a word traveling through the maze. Boundaries. I pause to check my email. I pause to collect my thoughts. Jack is the at the door, starting at me. He wants in. My coffee tastes good. Luke warm. Not hot. Decaf so I can sleep. 

Back to the word and what I am thinking about. Boundaries. Learning how to say no. Learning what to say yes to. Learning to take control of my work. Feeling like it is okay to say no to everyone’s requests. I feel I have earned my boundaries. I have said yes to so many requests. I have said to so much free. I need to make boundaries. I need to keep boundaries. 

I have to have limits. I have to tune in to what I want. I need to be direct. I give myself permission to say no to things. I pause again. Checking Facebook this time. Thinking more. Rolling the words over in my mind. Listening to the music. Thinking how much I love piano music and how relaxing it is. 

I feel good about where I am going in my business. I feel like I have earned every single boundary I am putting in place. I have earned the right to say no to things. I feel okay about that. I feel good about that. I feel at peace with that. 

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