You’re right, you’re doomed. Once you hit 50 it’s over. Weight loss isn’t happening. Women, do you hear that? Well, just like about every mainstream media nutrition information, it’s false as fuck. Just because you hit 50 and just because you are heading into menopause …
The word diet. The word implies sacrifice. The word implies deprivation. The word implies restriction. The word implies fun killer. And then we think a little bit more and keto, intermittent fasting, low carb, grapefruit and whatever other “diet” comes to mind. Actually, Dictionary tells …
Hi Dad. I’m doing fine.
It’s been 21 years. June 3, 2020.
I still remember the last time I saw you.
This is the first time since you left that I haven’t felt that dread around the day. It’s the first time I haven’t felt the extreme sadness.
It doesn’t mean it’s any easier. It’s not. This year just feels different. I feel lighter. I feel less heart-heavy. I feel okay.
I know you are always around. You remind me all the time. I see the signs and I smell the smells.
I stopped and saw you today. Your area was bering watered, so you were extremely wet. It made my laugh. You always used to tell us that at your funeral you wanted it to rain so that you would be the only dry one. So, while I stood and looked at your headstone today, I had to dodge the sprinklers and it made me laugh.
This was the first time I have’t cried when I’ve visited. I actually feel like the grief – the blackness – and the shadows have lifted. I see the sunlight and can feel the warmth. It’s probably what you would have hoped it would be all along. I know you hated to see any of us cry.
I finally feel like it’s okay. I finally feel like I know. I feel like what I do and how I help people makes sense now. The dots have been connected. I keep watching the reel. It’s the same movie every time. As much as I want it to end differently, it doesn’t. I wish you were still here.
Your health is why I do what I do. Because of you, my path is now clear. I always wondered why I felt this extreme pull to help people. I have been put in the track of these people because of you.
It sounds cliche.
Your health pushed me to be better in my own health. I didn’t want heart disease. I didn’t want bypass surgery. You had quadruple at age 48 and double at age 58. I didn’t want that. It is so young. Next year I will be 58 and I realize how young that really is. You died at age 60. I don’t want to die young.
We have one life. That’s it. We don’t get a do over.
You put me on the path to better health. So many people don’t do the hard stuff. So many people don’t do the things they are afraid of. I say walk through the fear. I’m doing that Dad.
I changed my life so I would not follow that trigger pull. Genetics only go so far. It’s the lifestyle that pulls that trigger. I didn’t want that for myself. I didn’t want it for you either, but I had no say. I watched you try to eat better. I watched you quit smoking. I watched you with the all or nothing mindset. I watched you struggle.
About 3 years ago, I got that giant kick in the ass. I really changed things. I was heading towards the heart disease. I was heading towards all the unhealthy health markers. I was heading in the same direction as you.
I changed everything in my life and I am so much better off for it. I am so much healthier because of it.
Because of you. I thank you for that.
I’m doing okay Dad.
This is a post about a very successful friend of mine. She just finished up her one year check-ins with me. She changed so much physically, but she is one who has done the work mentally as well. She will have all the habits and behaviors she learned along with the way and I have no doubt that she did the work in order to keep the weight off. She is an amazing human as well. This is my friend – Michele
Case Study – Michele Johnson – North Dakota
Michele came to me at 40 years of age at the end of April, 2020. Her official start date was May 5, 2020. She was tired all the time. She weighed 235 pounds and wanted to have the energy she had before her thyroid problems. She was frustrated and sick of feeling like crap. She had been limiting her carbs to no more than 40 grams per day and had been also doing Intermittent Fasting. She felt stuck. She felt like she was just spinning her wheels and couldn’t get any results. She was beyond frustrated and ready to make some changes in order to get her health back.
From the information I received from her, I calculated her macro information and provided her those numbers. We started tracking all macros and she realized how inconsistent her eating had been. It was tough for her at first because she had not eaten this much food for many, many years. It was new and it was a little bit scary. The mindset work was huge for her. Knowing that because she was going to be eating more food and not gaining weight was a big lightbulb moment. She was already getting plenty of steps in on the daily with her busy job. She was itching to get in some kind of strength training. This was a huge dial mover for her as she felt she had lost a lot of muscle after her thyroid was removed. By implementing the macros and the strength training she realized how much the strength training and the consumption of protein helped to change the shape of her body. She did the work everyday. She planned her days and she planned her meals. She wanted to be as accurate as she possibly could.
The scale was a mind challenge for her, as it is with most of us. I encouraged her to look at the bigger picture. We started focusing on other things, such as strength and performance goals. The -being in it for the long haul- is something that can be very scary, because of the diet mentality. That usually means a 30 day program and done. This is not that. This is eliminating the yo-yo dieting. This is being able to eat what you want so you don’t feel that deprivation. Every week during her checkins there was always something new she noticed. There was always something she was holding herself accountable for. Many times it was the shock of being able to enjoy foods that she previously considered off limits.
During the process she had major surgery and even though she was afraid of not being able to get in any activity, I encouraged her to keep sticking to her macros as closely as she could, one because her body would need the calories in order to heal and two because I wanted her to see that she could still eat, not be able to workout, and let her body heal. There was no strict deficit here. She needed to heal. She put her trust in herself and in me.
When she felt stuck, we went through strategies she could adopt in order to get things moving again. Sometimes that was hanging out for a while without a deficit, sometimes it was doing protein and calories and not all the macros. Sometimes it was employing patience and knowing it was okay not to have a loss sometimes.
This client has been with me one year. This process has been nothing short of amazing. At 12 weeks she was down 22 pounds and was getting stronger and stronger. Whenever she felt like she was slipping back into her old self she would tell herself that it was harder being unhealthy, overweight and feeling like crap everyday. At week 22 she was feeling all the non-scale victories. She realized how much weight training has changed her body. She loved that it was okay to ask questions and she loved that she got a part in how we went forward with her plan. She has been enjoying foods with zero guilt. These are foods that she previously considered off limits. Week 40 was a huge milestone for her. CANCER FREE. Direct quote, “I am just loving life right now, even in the cold.” She has been building habits that will stay with her for the long haul. She has been watching her family eating better too. At week 42 she hit a running record. At week 44, she hit another running record and said how much she really likes prepping her food because it takes the thought out of everything. At week 50 she has lost 58 pounds and almost 10 inches off her waist. As you can see though, she has grown way beyond what the scale says. She has done all the mindset work. She has done the behavior change. She has built the resilience needed to succeed. She has consistently made the choices that make her proud.
At week 52 – one year of coaching this client made her goal. She had a few days this week where she was at 175 on the scale. Unbelievable. She lost 60 pounds in one year. She lost over 10 inches off her waist. She did the work. She put in the time and she changed her life. She decided she was worth it and she went and grabbed the possibility of what her life could look like 60 pounds later. It’s not even the weight. It’s the changes made inside that I am most proud of with her. She has been running virtual races and doing strength workouts and is improving day after day after day. I am so proud of her.
The following is a quote from Michele –
“I wanted to become healthier, stronger and lose weight, did I think it was possible, hell no but you changed all that. I astonished my thyroid Dr at my yearly check up with my health and am now on a normal dose of meds. I am stronger as in I can go up 5 flights of stairs without blinking or needing an oxygen mask and jog a solid 2.75 miles without needing to stop. And the kicker is that I did lose weight. I have proved everyone wrong that says they can’t lose weight because of thyroid problems, hormonal problems, or having too much stress. I listened and trusted in you Peggie and you helped me to prove all of them wrong. You are a kick ass coach! I will never forget you and how you helped me. Thank you again!!!!”
Imagine yourself in Kindergarten. Imagine the excitement. The first real school experience. Away from your parents. Away from bothers and sisters Nervous Excited Scared Anxious All those feelings being felt in a giant ball in your tummy. At that age do we know what it …
I’m Just Here For The Buzz
That’s the feeling I wanted. That’s what I chased. I didn’t like feeling out of control or past the buzz point. But then the dilemma was how to keep just enough buzz without moving past it. It was a fine line. That last one was always too much. No matter how much I knew better.
If you get my emails or see my social media accounts, you may know that I have not had an alcoholic beverage in a while. It’s actually been 913 days. So, yeah, a while.
I really don’t ever think about it much anymore. Not drinking is just part of my life right now It doesn’t serve a purpose for me. It was fun, but it was getting to where I was questioning why I was drinking or if I was trying to numb something or if I was just using it to cope with life. I was starting to think about it all the time. It was the – oh, I can’t wait to get off work so I can have a glass of wine – thoughts. And then the reward thoughts. The if I get my workout in then I can have wine. Or sometimes I ditched the workout altogether and just started in on the wine.
It also wasn’t doing my health any favors. I was drinking sometimes every night. And then I would tell myself, okay, I’m just going to drink this weekend, and not drink during the week. That would last for a few weeks, sometimes a month. And then I would be right back at it again. It was getting dumb. I would buy a couple bottles of wine for the weekend. But if I had too much of one, that would not leave enough for the rest of the weekend so I would have to go buy more. That was the part for me that was starting to feel really out of control. So I did something about it. I told myself I was going to stop. I needed to check myself. I needed to see if I could do it.
The more it was becoming normalized all over social media, the more I was getting sick of it. You couldn’t go look on someone’s Facebook page without there being pictures of people drinking. It was in your face everywhere.
It was being normalized for women to think they couldn’t make it through their day if there wasn’t wine for later. Society was telling us we couldn’t deal with life without wine. Wine time and mommy juice were becoming normal terms. People thought it was funny. It can be, but when it starts to rule your thoughts and your behaviors, then it’s time to take a closer look.
If you wonder if you drink too much or if you have a drinking problem, you might drink too much and you might have a problem. Isn’t that usually how we start to wonder if something is not quite right in our lives? We wonder why we keep doing what we do.
We deep down know, but we deep down don’t want to admit. We tell ourselves everything is fine. We still function. We still get up and go to work. We aren’t in jail and we are just having fun. I got tired of burning off the morning fog with caffeine. I got tired of the puffy face and tired eyes. I got tired of feeling like shit all the time.
When that fun turns into day drinking, and every night drinking and all the weekends drinking and looking for the most amazing flavored vodka drinking, there might be a problem.
But, who the fuck am I to tell you that? There is no right or wrong choice for you. It’s just your choice. I don’t care if you drink. I have a lot of friends that drink and I still love every single one of those friends and can still have fun when I am with them, even if I don’t drink. That’s my choice and I don’t look at anyone who drinks any differently that someone who doesn’t.
You have to decide how you live your life. Every six months or so, I reevaluate my choice to not drink. I don’t know if I will drink again, but right now I feel really solid in my decision.
I don’t miss anything. In fact, I love going out and being sober. I love not having to worry if I will be able to drive home or if my husband is going to drive home. I love not having to make the wine decision on a Saturday afternoon, because I might still need to drive somewhere later. I really don’t miss it. I love not feeling like shit anymore. I’m still funny, whether I’m drinking or not. And I still have fun. So for now, I will be sticking to my alcohol free life.