How are you showing up for yourself?

As I am sure you know, we are always our toughest critic. We are ridiculously hard on ourselves when it comes to our bodies. How we look. How we see ourselves. You know the drill. There is not one person I know who has not said something negative about how they look. Why? Why are we so conditioned to hate ourselves? Why are we so conditioned to bad mouth ourselves? Why are we so conditioned to take a look in that mirror and talk shit to the person staring back? 

It’s interesting to me. We spend so much time shit talking ourselves. But when it comes to changing and getting results, we are the first to have a laundry list of excuses. Such a paradox. Especially as we age we tend to blame other things for our weight gain or how our body looks. 

We start with, well you know what happens when you turn 40. It’s all downhill. Getting old is hell. That’s what happens when you get older, you just get fatter. It’s my hormones. I mean come on, can you feel the heat from those hot flashes coming off my body. My metabolism is completely broken. I eat “clean,” so I don’t know why I can’t lose weight. I barely eat 1000 calories a day. I just need to work out more. That will do it. I know it will. 

We fail to take a look inside. We fail to blame ourselves. Why? I just don’t get it. We would rather blame everything else than do what we need to do to fix the situation. Take some responsibility. Show up. Change the way we eat. Eat less. It sounds so simple, but it is the answer. 

I did this for years. I blamed my hormones. I blamed my thyroid. I blamed my workouts. I blamed everything but myself. I was the only one who could do anything about it. I was eating healthy and working out. I gained weight and I kept on gaining weight. The truth was I was eating too much. We never believe we are eating as much as we are. Track it once and you will see. 

So I started really focusing on my nutrition and my workouts. I showed up for myself. I showed up and I did the work. I worked hard. I ate in a calorie deficit. I ate protein at every meal. I ate lots of fruits and vegetables. I was consistent. I was patient. I upped the weights on my workouts and I made sure to strength train at least three days per week. I love my Peloton bike and I love that type of cardio. I like doing it. I do bike rides every week and I walk or run on the tread once or twice a week. But I didn’t get the bike or the tread to try to lose weight. That never works. It is so true that you cannot out exercise a diet that is constantly in a calorie surplus. It does not work. 

I turn 56 in about 5 weeks and I can tell you I have never felt better. I have never been leaner. I have never been stronger. Age is just a number. I am aging with grit and grace and I love it. We should never be afraid to get older. We just get better. 

As you age and as you go forward in life, think about your future. Even if you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s or higher, it’s never too late to change. How do you want to show up? I want to be healthy and I want to be able to move without pain. 

Don’t know where to start? 

1. Move every day.
2. Eat in a calorie deficit if you are trying to lose weight. Track your food.
3. Strength train
4. Be Consistent
5. Be patient.
6. Clap for yourself
7. Cheer for yourself.
8. Talk nice to yourself.
9. Reduce your stress.
10. SHOW UP.

The other day I was looking for a pic from the camera roll on my phone and found my little kid picture. Kindergarten or first grade. I think it’s first grade. Me. The girl with the crooked smile. The girl with the blue eyes and white hair. The girl with pale skin and skinny legs. The girl with an attitude and a heart of gold. The girl who always, always wanted to hang with the boys. Athletic. A way of life, even then. Outside playing all the time. Climbing trees, running, jumping rope, riding bikes and playing.

In the picture, I have a big scratch down the side of my face. I’m wearing a dress too. Unheard of for this girl. Not sure how my mother pulled that off. I hated dresses. 

At that time in my young life, we had babysitters. The babysitter either came to the house to watch us or we went there. With this one, we went there. The house was big and had a brown stucco on the outside. It had character. I loved that house. 

The babysitter’s name was Gayle. We went there every week day. Our lunches were sent with us every morning. It was usually Campbell’s Chicken and Stars soup. Add a can of water and you’re set with a few bowls. I can remember sandwiches too. I think they were bologna. Perfect for me and my sister, Sherry. 

The house had old fashioned carpet. The kind with darker colors and swirls. I’ve always been a fan of that pattern. We would shuffle our feet across the carpet as we walked and then touch each other’s arms to send that nice spark of electricity through the body. It was fun. 

We played outside a lot. Carefree and wild. Outside at the side of the house was a small dirt hill we would play on. I think mostly kids would ride their bikes down it, pretending to be Even Knievel. We also slid down it and always had a  blast. One of the times I got pushed and went face first down the hill on my belly, catching a branch from a lilac bush to the side of my face. School pictures were the next day. Awesome! I had a nice badge of honor. A mini sized bad ass, that was me.

In the picture I see the scratch on my face. I see the dress. I see a girl with a crooked smile and bright blue eyes. I see the white hair. I’m not looking directly at the camera, but slightly off to the side. The photographer may have done that on purpose. 

I see that same smile and that same look in the face of my son, and in the face of his daughter. It’s crazy how genetics work. 

I wonder what I was thinking. I wonder what I was feeling. Young and carefree—-and wild. That was me. The girl with the crooked smile. 

New Year’s Resolutions, goals, themes and habits. Do you? Should you? 

Only you know the answer to that. What do you really, really want spice girl? (Yes, I think I’m funny). 

We are all different and we are all wired differently. Something that works for you, might not work for me. That’s the beauty of being different. We don’t need to compare. We don’t need to conform. We don’t need to wish or hope or want to be like someone else. Dare to be different. Dare to be yourself. 

You might be a resolution person. You might be a goal person. You might be a theme person or a new habit person. Yay! 

What’s the difference? 

Resolution – a firm decision to do or not to do something. 

Goal – the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. 

Theme – a word or phrase that resonates with you and embodies something that has been missing from our daily life. 

Habit – an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary – for example, looking both ways before crossing the street. 

You also could decide just to take the pressure off yourself and just decide you are going to do something, just like you decide you aren’t going to do something. The something is totally up to you. 

You don’t have to change everything. But we all probably need to change some things. 

Make 2019 your last year of making excuses. Your last year of wasting time. Your last year of doubting yourself. Your last year of always saying “I need to lose weight.” Your last year of saying, if only. 

Make some goals like breaking a bad habit. Make some goals like learning a new skill, do a good deed, visit a new place, face a fear, trying something new, take a risk, instead of I need to lose weight or I need to exercise more.  

Find something you can stick with. That’s the best one to do. If you want to change how you look, that’s up to you, but it’s not a required resolution or goal. You always have the power of your choice. If you want different goals such as lifting a shit ton of weight, that’s up to you too. The choices are endless. Feel your power. Get in your power. It’s in you. I promise. 

The industry tells us we need to be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. Progress is way better than perfection anyway. Make a little bit of progress every day. Do better every day. Be better every day. 

But most of all, find what works for you. It may be a resolution. It may be a new habit. It could be a goal or a theme. Find it. Work it. Do it. 

Here’s to 2020 and being your different.