Do you walk the walk? Do you talk the talk? You know what I mean by that, right? If you are perceived as being someone who is healthy or you do things that influence people or you tell people what to do, do you take your own advice? 

I am a trainer and a nutrition coach. I can’t imagine telling my clients to do something I have never done myself. I want to know how whatever I am telling them feels. I want to get in there and feel it myself. I want to see how it affects me. 

I’ve been fat. I’m now not fat. I have done exactly what I ask my clients to do in order to become not fat. I walk the walk. I talk the talk. It’s not the per usual, do as I say, not as I do, talk. I sincerely want to help people change. I am sick of looking at this fat and unhealthy world we live in. I am tired of seeing overweight kids who don’t have a chance. There is so much junk food. There is so much stuff. There are so many options, unhealthy, not optimal options. Sure you have the choice. You can choose more optimal. You can choose less optimal. It definitely is up to you. The thing is, don’t overeat it. Have a small portion and then move on, get past it. 

When you figure out portion control, you figure out the secret to being healthier than most others. It is eye-opening. I don’t use that term lightly. Try it. Look at a box of cereal. I did this demonstration a while back in my nutrition coaching group. I poured one serving of Cap’N Crunch (because it’s fucking awesome) in a bowl. I was shocked. It covered the bottom of the bowl. That’s it. I then poured what old me would have eaten for a serving. The bowl was 3/4 full. This was not even adding any milk. The amount of carb macro difference was ridiculous. The “normal” serving was about 23 carbs and “my normal” was about 70 carbs. Holy wow! This is absolutely crazy. I can’t imagine spending that kind of macro money on that. 

This is what I like about my clients learning how to eat. It’s educational and very eye-opening. If you are overweight, this is a great lesson in why. This is why I walk the walk and talk the talk. 

I wish I would have written down the day or the date or even the time. I do that sometimes. When I am writing I forgot to write that down. Then when I go back and fine tune and add or subtract, otherwise known as editing, I always wish I would have. I sit there and look at the page and look at the words and try to go back to that day, to that place, to those emotions. I try to remember what was going on that day, what made me feel that way or what helped me write the words. What emotions put the words to the page? 

Sometimes I know when I am in a certain mood that something happened. Usually something not good. I think this writing was on that day. The day I was agitated. The day I was annoyed. The day I felt off. Last Tuesday. I found out a few days later that my great aunt had passed away. Her name was Verna. She was an interesting character for sure. 

For my writing practice that day, I wrote the below. I can’t explain why. I can’t explain what. I just wrote. I just wrote free. I didn’t think, I didn’t contemplate, I just wrote. I didn’t want to feel or think or look. I just wrote. 

Sail On Silver Girl

This song, Bridge Over Troubled Water is playing and I am crying. Why? No idea. something about this song is stirring emotions. I don’t know what emotions—childhood emotions, kid emotions, wanting someone to help emotions. I can’t place it. I can’t pinpoint it. This song is so familiar. We listened to Simon and Garfunkel all the time at the Prospect house, maybe even the Euclid house. Music is so stress relieving and so life re-living. The song is so lyrically emotional—needing, wanting someone to help. Someone to help you feel loved and to take away any fear, take away any pain and help ease things – take away trouble, make things better, make things happy again, if they even ever were before. Don’t know that that line “sail on silver girl, sail on by, time to shine, means. Is there hope? Was there hope? How do you know? How do you hope? How do you live? Will things be okay? Life is messy, love is messy. Things aren’t always okay. Nothing ever is. 

I love going back and looking at what I wrote. It is so interesting to me. I have so many memories. 

Verna’s house was in Viborg, the town where I was born. It was on a corner and was two stories. I think it was white. She drove a Volvo. I always thought that was cool. We visited her whenever we visited Grandma Esther. They were sisters. I wish I could remember her voice. I think it was soft, yet stern. She didn’t let us get away with anything. She was notoriously frugal. She reminded me of Aunt Bea from the Andy Griffith Show. I remember sitting on a step stool at her table all the time watching her do things. Verna did a lot of things. Rest In Peace Verna. Sail On Silver Girl.