The sticky note was on my computer for about two weeks. Two 3×3 yellow sheets of square shaped paper with the written words. Sitting there. Waiting to be written. Forming the words in my head and my heart. Thinking how to write it. Thinking about how certain things trigger memories. Thinking about it. Letting it swish and swirl around in my head. Still waiting to be written. Every time I opened my laptop, there it was, reminding me. Reminding me of her memory. Waiting to be written.
It was just a ruler. A wooden ruler. It was an 18 inch ruler though, not the standard 12 inch ruler. That was kind of odd. But, it’s just a ruler. Why is this ruler a thing? I wondered, what’s so special about this ruler? Then I saw it. It was her ruler.
He came out of his office to show me. He said he always thought it gave him good luck. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. It was just a ruler. Then he flipped it over and on the back side was a name. The letters were written in black Sharpie. The letters were written in all caps. The letters formed a name. It was her name. It was her writing. I recognized it right away. That recognition never goes away, no matter how long it’s been. I tried to hide the emotions. I’m sure he saw it. It caught me off guard.
It’s fitting, or ironic, a coincidence or a message from her. Her absolute favorite holiday was the 4th of July. Tomorrow. Manana. She said that to me every day when she left the office…manana.
She was always so excited for the 4th. Her neighborhood had their own parade. Pretty much their own holiday. Sunshine. She would set up a table in the yard to launch her fireworks. She was giddy with excitement. It was the kind of excitement that was contagious. Just like her smile…contagious. Just like her. Full of life and full of sunshine and full of beauty.
I see her now. Walking around, a glass of wine in her hand or if the day called for it, a glass of scotch. Ice cubes clanking against the glass, making her music. Her hair flowing and her head tilted back with laughter. She loved to laugh. She loved to live. She was a beautiful soul. Gone way too soon.
So, when I saw the ruler, the name on the ruler, I knew it was her. I knew she was there. I get goosebumps now thinking about her and how she touched my life. I can’t imagine never having known her. I miss you Sandy. Light it up tomorrow!