live your life with purpose
Sometimes it really is just about the food. Have you ever binged? Food binged? If you have, how did you feel after the binge? How did you feel mentally after the binge? Did you feel guilty? Did you feel shame? We are told so many …
He liked Coke. I was 16. And whiskey. I was nervous. Why did he like me. I wondered. I can’t even remember how he got a hold of me or how we even met. I think he knew my sister, Wendy.
He had a cool car. A Gran Torino. He was older. About 20. I went with him. He was cute. We drove up and down Euclid. It was the entertainment of the era. Gas-wasting, hot summer nights. The best.
Being young and carefree. The thing to do. Two things pulling at me. Having fun and being responsible. I wonder what I told my mom about where I was going. Carefree. She certainly would not have let me go if she had known. Responsible.
We stopped at a place on Euclid. He bought a bottle of Coke from the machine, one of the small ones, I think they were eight ounce. Glass. He guzzled part of the Coke and filled the bottle back up with whiskey. It made me nervous. I wonder if he was too.
I thought I was cool. He thought he was cool. I was a goodie two shoes. He was not. I was still nervous. I sat there as we drove around. He talked. I listened.
Part of me wanted to stay out. Carefree. I had him take me home. Responsible.
September 12, 2019 I have some notes written down. My ear tunes into the inflections and phrases uttered by the narrator. I write the phrase down because at the time it seems extremely important and it makes me think. I do that all the time. …
September 7, 2019 The alarm went off. I hit snooze. I never hit snooze. I contemplated. I wrestled with the voice in my head. I got up. Bathroom first, weigh in second, coffee third. Out the door. Power Hour is today. At the studio. Saturday …
The son. The only one left. Going through her things. Going through her house. Going through the things in her house. The life in her house. Life is done. Her life is done. He is older. Born in 48, first of two. She was born in 30. She was 89.
I wonder what her thoughts were. Having a baby. 18 years old. The life beginning. The family beginning. The map laid out. The life laid out.
Now he is going through her things. The son. The born first son. Now 71. Old enough to not need her, but young enough to still miss her.
She walked down the gravel road with a cocky swagger. As cocky as an eleven year old can be. Her long blonde hair was in a low ponytail, with long wisps of bangs hanging out. She was wearing her usual summer attire, black Converse tennis …
Yesterday was a big step. Another big step. A big life step for us, for Tayler and for Derek. We loaded up and moved them to Jamestown. University of Jamestown, Jamestown, North Dakota. Second year for Tayler, so the emotions were a little more in check than last year. In fact, Facebook reminded me of last year. All the emotions flooded back of us walking away as Tayler sat crying in her room. The hardest thing as a parent is watching the pain of your child and not being able to help. For us, that day, we had to walk away because it was the right thing to do.
We got to Jamestown late morning and unloaded the trailer. After getting unloaded and going to lunch, we then took Tayler and Derek to Walmart to help them to get their apartment set up because it was the right thing to do. We got the car all loaded and were heading back to the apartment. On the corner, there sat a person in a wheelchair and a sign. A sign. Many signs, other than the cardboard one he was holding, were being shown.
Opportunities to do the right thing are always present. We just have to open our eyes to them. We have to open our hearts to them. Because it’s the right thing to do. We have to listen for the knocking. We have to answer the door. Because it’s the right thing to do.
I have to admit I was being a little bit cynical. There are so many scammers out there. You just never know. But what if he wasn’t a scammer? I have work to do on myself. My husband, on the other hand, has the biggest heart. He passed that on to Tayler. I am grateful I get to witness it on the daily.
But, something was telling us we should stop. Something. The right thing to do. It was pretty much a collaborative decision. We all decided we needed to stop and give him some money. Tayler was driving so the turn around took way longer than it should have. She has a strange sense of direction. You know I couldn’t let that one go Tayler! LOL.
We finally got back around and pulled up to the curb. The man sitting on the corner. The man with an artificial leg. The man with the cardboard sign. The sign indicated he was a Vet. The man who looked broken. The man whose pride was being tested. The man sitting on a corner in a wheelchair with a sign. The man who looked broken. The man.
John only had a 10, I gave him another 20. He got out and walked up to the man and handed him the money. The look on the man’s face instantly brought tears to my eyes. The shocked look on his face. The gratitude in his eyes. The tears forming, the words forming. The emotions, so real, so true. The heart, so real, so true.
We drove away, feeling good. We answered the knock on the door. We answered God’s knock.
Be kind to people. Because it’s the right thing to do.
