Imagine yourself in Kindergarten.

Imagine the excitement. 

The first real school experience.

Away from your parents. 

Away from bothers and sisters

Nervous

Excited

Scared

Anxious

All those feelings being felt in a giant ball in your tummy. At that age do we know what it is to want to fit in? Can we tell if someone doesn’t like us? I can’t remember. 

In Kindergarten we are coming into our personalities and things that make us happy and things that make us sad. We are starting to be more independent and we are building our confidence.

This is a critical age. 

Words matter. Actions matter. 

Kindergarten is fun. It’s where social behaviors are learned. It’s where fun things are learned. 

The alphabet. The numbers. The drawing. The coloring. 

Words matter. Actions matter. 

So now imagine yourself sitting at your tiny table in your tiny chair in your big classroom. The teacher gives everyone a piece of paper and gives instructions to color the apple that is printed on the paper. 

Now imagine, you are loving life and you are loving being in school. You are unique. Nobody is the same as you. You are excited to color your apple. You start to color your apple purple! 

The teacher is walking around checking on everyone’s coloring. The teacher gets to yours. 

Words matter. Actions matter. 

In front of the whole class, the teacher snatches up your piece of paper. The teacher proclaims that apples are green, red or yellow. Apples are NOT purple. Imagine the shame you feel. Imagine how your feelings were quashed. Imagine how your creativity was stunted. Your confidence was crushed. You shriveled. 

Words matter. Actions matter. 

Imagine the trauma. But you may be thinking, how could that be even remotely traumatic for a child? Then let me ask you this. Why would that child remember that event years and years and years later? Because it was traumatic for that child.

Those words and those actions formed something in that child. That child now is constantly seeking reassurance about decisions that may seem easy enough for us, but are a huge struggle for this child. That child struggles with confidence. That child struggles to be unique. Those words and actions carried over into that child’s adult life. 

Words matter. Actions matter. 

Stop crushing a child’s creativity. Stop crushing a child’s feelings and emotions. Stop crushing a child’s confidence. Think about your words. Think about your actions. Color your apples purple. 

Do you even really need a goal?  Can you make progress without a goal or goals? 

Do you feel like if you don’t have a goal you can’t make any progress? What say you?

I say you can make progress without goals. 

But what is a goal? A goal is a noun. Yes, I think I’m funny.

By definition a goal is: 

the end toward which effort is directed 

So a goal is something we work towards. The outcome of our effort. Something we want to achieve. Well Peggie, don’t you think we need that when we are trying to accomplish something? Sure, but do you really need it? 

Are you doomed if you don’t have a goal? Are you doomed if you don’t have all the ways you are going to get to that goal, because by God, you are going to do it this time. You told yourself this is the last time you are going to go on a diet. You sat down and wrote down all the things and checked all the boxes and filled in all the lines. You got this. It’s there on the paper. Right there. 

Think about it. What if you just did the things you know you should be doing? How many times have you said to yourself, “I know what I should do.” What if you just did those things most of the time? Do you think you could get away from the diet atmosphere and the punishing yourself 30 days to fat loss challenges? Do you think you would feel better knowing you didn’t have to take away all the food you love and kill yourself in the gym with cardio? Exercise is supposed to make us feel better and get stronger, not make us feel like shit because we are trying to punish ourselves for what we ate. 

When it comes to fitness and fat loss people often think more is better. By more being better, I mean more activity. That is not necessarily the case. BUT, whenever you hear someone say they want to lose weight, and by weight they mean fat, the first thing they go to is more activity. It’s just crazy. So many times the last resort for people is changing the diet. Because in their minds they think food has to be become super restrictive. They think they need to eat nothing but chicken breast and broccoli. That thinking and acting usually backfires. Spoiler alert, restriction comes wrapped in foods that aren’t fun and don’t taste the greatest either. 

If people would do less of the things they think they need to do, such as more burpees, and more cardio and more food restrictions, more calorie restriction and more cleanses and also maybe stop looking for the hacks and the tricks that make things easier they might realize it takes time and consistency to see results. So if you get consistent with those things you know you “should” be doing, you will probably run into some pretty awesome results. When you stop restricting your food and stop depriving yourself so much, you might notice that every single weekend you aren’t going crazy and eating and drinking all the things. 

If you allow yourself to have these things it can go a long way in seeing some progress. Not just physical, but mental and emotional as well. I don’t know about you, but I love pizza and I love bagels and pasta. I don’t eat them all the time, but I eat them. I don’t restrict myself. If there is something I have been craving, I work it into my day and if I can’t work it into my day, I will work it in the next day. 

But Peggie, you’ve been doing this for forever. That’s how you learn. New things can be hard and new things can be overwhelming. That’s part of learning. I bet if you played an instrument, it took you longer than a month to be good at it. That’s the same with our health. It takes patience and consistent practice. 

When you stop listening to all the noise out there and start doing the simple things, amazing things begin to happen. People don’t want to believe that though. They think it has to be hard. They think it has to be complicated. It really doesn’t. 

Don’t you think there is an easier way? A way that doesn’t keep us on the diet roller coaster and constantly has us playing the shame game. If your goal is to lose fat, maybe try some of the things you know you should be doing instead of the shiny objects that never work. 

So do you want to know that I think the things are that you should be doing? And my no means should you go all in and change everything at once. You can take baby steps. These are the things I encourage: Emphasize protein, Eat more fruits and vegetables, get at least 7 hours of sleep every night, reduce your stress, walk every day, strength train (especially women – get after it), drink water and learn how to let shit go. 

So, I think you don’t need a concrete goal in order to lose fat. I think you need more habits and behavior change. Start doing something and you can be well on your way to seeing changes in your body and in your mind. So make some effort. Invest your time in getting a little bit better every day. 

I’m Just Here For The Buzz

That’s the feeling I wanted. That’s what I chased. I didn’t like feeling out of control or past the buzz point. But then the dilemma was how to keep just enough buzz without moving past it. It was a fine line. That last one was always too much. No matter how much I knew better. 

If you get my emails or see my social media accounts, you may know that I have not had an alcoholic beverage in a while. It’s actually been 913 days. So, yeah, a while. 

I really don’t ever think about it much anymore. Not drinking is just part of my life right now It doesn’t serve a purpose for me. It was fun, but it was getting to where I was questioning why I was drinking or if I was trying to numb something or if I was just using it to cope with life. I was starting to think about it all the time. It was the – oh, I can’t wait to get off work so I can have a glass of wine – thoughts.  And then the reward thoughts. The if I get my workout in then I can have wine. Or sometimes I ditched the workout altogether and just started in on the wine. 

It also wasn’t doing my health any favors. I was drinking sometimes every night. And then I would tell myself, okay, I’m just going to drink this weekend, and not drink during the week. That would last for a few weeks, sometimes a month. And then I would be right back at it again. It was getting dumb. I would buy a couple bottles of wine for the weekend. But if I had too much of one, that would not leave enough for the rest of the weekend so I would have to go buy more. That was the part for me that was starting to feel really out of control. So I did something about it. I told myself I was going to stop. I needed to check myself. I needed to see if I could do it. 

The more it was becoming normalized all over social media, the more I was getting sick of it. You couldn’t go look on someone’s Facebook page without there being pictures of people drinking. It was in your face everywhere. 

It was being normalized for women to think they couldn’t make it through their day if there wasn’t wine for later. Society was telling us we couldn’t deal with life without wine. Wine time and mommy juice were becoming normal terms. People thought it was funny. It can be, but when it starts to rule your thoughts and your behaviors, then it’s time to take a closer look. 

If you wonder if you drink too much or if you have a drinking problem, you might drink too much and you might have a problem. Isn’t that usually how we start to wonder if something is not quite right in our lives? We wonder why we keep doing what we do. 

We deep down know, but we deep down don’t want to admit. We tell ourselves everything is fine. We still function. We still get up and go to work. We aren’t in jail and we are just having fun. I got tired of burning off the morning fog with caffeine. I got tired of the puffy face and tired eyes. I got tired of feeling like shit all the time. 

When that fun turns into day drinking, and every night drinking and all the weekends drinking and looking for the most amazing flavored vodka drinking, there might be a problem.

But, who the fuck am I to tell you that? There is no right or wrong choice for you. It’s just your choice. I don’t care if you drink. I have a lot of friends that drink and I still love every single one of those friends and can still have fun when I am with them, even if I don’t drink. That’s my choice and I don’t look at anyone who drinks any differently that someone who doesn’t. 

You have to decide how you live your life. Every six months or so, I reevaluate my choice to not drink. I don’t know if I will drink again, but right now I feel really solid in my decision. 

I don’t miss anything. In fact, I love going out and being sober. I love not having to worry if I will be able to drive home or if my husband is going to drive home. I love not having to make the wine decision on a Saturday afternoon, because I might still need to drive somewhere later. I really don’t miss it. I love not feeling like shit anymore. I’m still funny, whether I’m drinking or not. And I still have fun. So for now, I will be sticking to my alcohol free life. 

Pressure Perfect

I’ve been wondering again. I’ve told you before. I wonder about a lot of different things. Lately it’s been pressure. The pressure we put on our kids, or the pressure we put on ourselves. The pressures our parents put on us. What kind of pressure? 

The be good enough pressure. The comparison pressure. The get out in the real world pressure. Pressure, pressure and more pressure. All that pressure. It starts with our kid selves and just keeps building to our adult selves. Sports, grades, careers, life. 

So the next thing I started wondering about is how pressure affects people. What effect is it having? What makes a person more resilient to pressure? Is it the way their brain is wired? How does one person let crap just roll off their back, when another one obsesses over what someone said to them or about them. One moves on, one doesn’t. 

How does one person crack under it and the other doesn’t? What kinds of coping mechanisms do people use to deal with the pressure? Look at all those question marks. It’s crazy. I get in a loop and my mind just keeps going through the questions. I can’t help it. 

I feel like I am pretty well put together as far as not letting stress and pressure get to me. But why? Am I more resilient and more apt to be able to deal with pressure? Some people numb it. Some people turn to alcohol, or drugs or food or over spending. 

I think those numb -ers  can be in all of us. Sometimes the numb feels better than living with the pressure. Sometimes the numb is a way out. So many people have a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset. When we have a fixed mindset we feel like we can’t improve. However, when we have a growth mindset, we think our intelligence, our talents and our abilities can be developed. We can overcome obstacles with effort, strategies and help from others. We can become more resilient. 

In fact, I am a big fan of using kid friendly books and psychology ideas to help my nutrition clients. I think it is super important because so many of us did not learn how to cope with our big emotions, our big feelings and our big pressures. So many times we are so concerned about pleasing others that we forget to be curious about ourselves and to learn about ourselves. We don’t even know ourselves. 

Aimlessly drifting or moving with purpose. Which was is the right way? Back to that pressure. The trick here is to make sure that if you are moving with purpose, you are moving with YOUR purpose. The goals you want to pursue, not your parents, not your teachers, not your spouse, not anyone, but you. “What you get my achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” Zig Ziglar

I think a main component of alleviating some of the immense pressure that is our lives, is to make sure to have the support of others. This can make life and those pressures a lot more easy to handle. It’s too hard to do things alone. The feelings of disappointing people can be huge. 

The pressure can be overwhelming. The numb – ers can be overwhelming. A few things that can help with the pressure is to ask yourself some questions when you are feeling overwhelmed. Ask yourself if you got enough sleep. Ask yourself if you got some movement in in the last few days. And ask yourself if you asked anyone for help. Finds some support. Talk to a friend, a mentor anyone whose advice you trust. 

Maybe check in with your kid once in a while and talk to them. Check in with yourself and see how your pressure is going. Check in with friends and other people you know. Ask questions. 

We all need a friend. And we all need to be able to ask for help. Do it sooner, rather than later, because sometimes, later is too late. 

We don’t get a replay and we don’t get a rewind. Life IS short and time IS fast.

A classmate. Gone too soon.

A shock to so many. Life changes in an instant. The time. Her time.

We tend to think we will stay young and invincible forever. Common thinking.

It’s hard to put into words what I am thinking and what I am feeling. We never know when our time is coming. But when it does, it does.

We were the kind of friends that if we saw each other on the street we would definitely recognize each other. Classmates and kid friends, junior high and high school. Touch was lost, but information was available. Kids’ lives and social. Proud parent moments. Times not forgotten. Memories made.

We only get one life. The impact can be considerable. The significance and the difference made to people’s lives. She did that. She was a giver.

She made a difference. She helped people. The calling was strong and the work was hard.

We are getting to the point in our lives when nothing is certain. The later parts of our lives when things just seem a little bit more special and friendships seem a little bit more meaningful. When family seems a lot more important and the time should be savored and cherished.

I will always remember going to Paula’s house and playing for hours and hours. I pray that her family and friends remember the good times and hold her close in their hearts. Rest In Peace Paula Adam-Burchill. You will be missed.

 

 

The funny stuff is here at the beginning. The not so funny stuff gradually builds. The sad kicks in and the feelings start feeling.

#1

Sometimes I wonder about things. Today was such a day. I had a few things. My socks were one of them. Have you sen the socks that have the R and the L stitched on them? Do they think I don’t know my right and left? But more importantly, why the hell would that matter with socks? Does it matter? I don’t think so, but my rule following brain will not let me switch them. I just can’t do it. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t are able to. Crazy, But true, for me. 

#2

The next thing I wondered about was why women do this. I don’t think I have seen men do it, but they might. I just haven’t come across it. Women will post a picture on FB or IG and then go about making their point and then say this: 

Excuse the sweat

Excuse the mess

Excuse the pajama pants

Excuse my 3 day hair

Excuse the no make-up

Excuse the toys all over the place

Excuse my….

Excuse the ….

Why do we say these things. Shame?  Embarrassment? Or just because we feel we need to? I don’t know. I hate how women make excuses for things. Just stop. You don’t need to excuse anything. You showed up for your day. You did the things. You are living your life. Let’s start normalizing those things. It’s part of life. Nobody is perfect and why the hell try? Live without those excuses. Keep showing up! 

#3

A friend from high school I have mentioned before on my blog is struggling hard. In fact, she won’t last long. She is in hospice care. It’s shocking and sad and scary all at the same time. So many things affect so many things. The surface is shiny, but scratch away a little bit and the shine fades. The reality sets in. The truth sets in. The sadness and the struggles. Let peace envelop her. Let the pain subside. May she rest in eternal peace and have a wonderful reunion with her parents. 

#4

Then the final little thoughts popping in and out all day were of my dad. His birthday is coming up and the thoughts keep rushing in. I was in Walmart yesterday, and an older dad, probably around the age of 75 or so and his daughter, in her 50s was helping him. They walked by and I immediately smelled Afta Shave. The aftershave that dad used. The green bottle of smelly smelling aftershave lotion. I thought about him through the rest of shopping trip. This month kicks my butt. It’s been 21 years and it is still hard. 

Ho-hos and Afta Shave

Plaid shirts and summer caps

Silent humor and can’t behave

Snack Wells cookies and steaks on the grill

Intimidating and subtle impacts

Perception and intuition

Knowing it’s near and feeling fulfilled

Saying goodbye and realizing this disposition

 

He would have turned 81 on the 21st. 

Happy Heavenly Birthday Dad 

Sometimes you get on a roll and sometimes you get on the coast vibe. Right now I feel on a roll. A shift if you will. Attitude? Perhaps. The moon? Perhaps. The timing? Perhaps. Things are fun right now. When you love your job, things should feel fun. Even hard things are fun. I get to do this job. I love this job. So, I am going to do a little re-introduction. I’m not sure if I have ever really done an introduction of myself for any social media platform. So, of course, I”m not doing it the traditional way. The traditional way would be to put the post itself on FB or IG. But, I will make it a blog post. Because that’s just how I do things. You can’t tell me what is the correct way to introduce myself. So, allow me to introduce myself – cue Rolling Stones music.

My name is Peggie Larsen. I grew up in small town Pierre, South Dakota. I left for a while but found my way back. I have an amazing husband, of 23 years. I have four grown children, last one in college, and 5 beautiful grandkids.

I have been active my whole life. I started gymnastics when I was 12 and lifting weights ever since. I started teaching aerobics when I was 19. I am a Nutrition Coach, PN1 and PN2. I have also completed a holistic nutritionist certification and a Psych Skills for Fitness Pros cert. I am a personal trainer and a kettlebell instructor. Certified in 2010. Bells are my love. I further my education on a daily basis. I take all kinds of small courses to try and learn as much as I can about nutrition and the ins and outs of behavior habits and change. I like to say I am a change facilitator. I had an in-person training studio, which opened in 2011, but covid took care of that this year, so now I am all online. I love to dig in and really try to find the buttons to push to help my clients reach their goals.

I help mostly women, with a few men sprinkled in. If you are in your late 30s, 40s and beyond, I’m your person. I have gone through the whole menopause tornado. Peri, meno and post. It can be intense for so many women. I am passionate about helping women find a comfortable peace in their bodies. So many times we want to find our old bodies again, but that doesn’t work. We are constantly evolving and that’s what makes life fun. I believe it is never too late to start lifting or to start taking care of your body. Age is just an idea. I know it takes time to get to I love me. I help with that. It is so gratifying watching the little successes add up. I love helping women who think they are too old, or that’s it too late. It’s not. It never is.

A few years ago I found myself constantly gaining weight and it just wasn’t slowing down. I finally took control of my situation and got things figured out. I called myself out on my shit and got serious about my health. I have maintained an over 40 pound weight loss since then and most of the menopause symptoms have been alleviated.

Clients come to me with the struggle of coming to terms with who they are in the body they have. I help them work through those frustrations and struggles and come out stronger on the other side. Not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. Weight loss is so much more than just food. It’s a bigger picture than that. There are many factors that go into learning about eating and all of the habits and behaviors that go hand in hand with that. Several of my clients have lost over 50 pounds. It definitely takes work. It can get uncomfortable sometimes too, but it’s worth it. I believe everyone deserves to be happy in their skin.

A few random things about me.

I LOVE coffee and I even used to roast my own. Many weekends you could find me sitting out in my garage with the heat gun and stainless steel bowls, music blaring and roasting away. Now, I just buy Seattle’s Best, Posy Alley Blend.

I love to hike and hit the trails. Getting out in nature is so peaceful and so good for the soul. I love moving my body via Peloton bike, tread, or with the most underrated exercise of all–walking.

I am VERY sarcastic. I am sarcastic about 90 percent of the time. In fact, a lot of people can’t tell if I’m being serious or sarcastic

Several years ago I had skin cancer above my lip. I have a giant scar that starts in one nostril and down to my lip and then over to the corner of my mouth. I also have a crooked lip because of it. I’m okay with that.

I have an intimidating look, but I’m really not intimidating at all. I love to joke around and have fun. Because really, what is life without some fun. I am really funny!

 

I would love to answer any questions you have, so please don’t ever be afraid to ask them.