Full Circle

Hmmmmm, where to start. How about the beginning. Sixth grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. Lincoln School (now Lincoln Apartments) Her name was Annette Lenners. Very pretty. Blond hair. Very nice. We were out for recess and she was saying how after school she had to leave right away because she had to do her aerial. What the heck was an aerial? She had on a leotard under her clothes. What the heck was a leotard? I remember asking her many questions about this. Gymnastics. Wow! Where? When? How did I not know this existed? By the way, an aerial is a cartwheel with no hands, also known as awesome! (I wonder where she is now). So I signed up for summer rec gymnastics, during the summer of finishing sixth grade going into 7th. I was very athletic and very strong. I loved anything to do with this thing called gymnastics. The coach loved me. Pull-ups? No problem. 15. I did situps and pushups every night while watching TV. I would do them during commercials while my dad and I were watching TV. I lived and breathed gymantsics. I absolutely loved it. I was hooked. I worked my ass off. It was sooooooooo cool. I couldn’t believe how much fun it was. I found it. My passion. It’s all I thought about. I couldn’t stop. I constantly was practicing. One night I kept kicking up into a handstand and would not stop. I practicted and practiced. My mom told me I should stop. Why? Are you crazy? Because broken collarbone. What? How could that happen? Seriously? No gymanstics for six weeks until my collarbone healed. I remember when 7th grade season started was the day I got my brace off. Woo Hoo!!! I couldn’t wait to get back at it. My favorite was bars. So fun. And I worked my ass off in order to do an aerial. I could do a standing aerial, which meant one step and boom…no handed cartwheel. Fun!

Until that day…I don’t blame my coach, I really don’t blame anyone. It was just a part of the way it was at that time and even worse at this time. I got the talk…the you’re a little on the heavy side. You really should lose 10 pounds. Hmmm. I recall I weighed about 116 pounds at that time. Shit, I thought I looked great. Here came the body image issues. I think I was going into 9th or 10th grade. Wow. I must be a real fast ass, I remember thinking. Everyone ate like crap then. I remember before gymnastics practice eating Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and drinking Coke. Because energy. Right? Whatever. No clue about nutrition at all. I remember ordering a diet out of “Teen Magazine” (the details are amazing, no? scarred perhaps). The “diet” wasn’t bad, hindsight being 20/20. Plenty of protein. I lost a little weight, but it wasn’t enough. So… now that my body image and confidence were completely fucked, I started bingeing and purging–zero to 60. That didn’t take long. My best friend and I. Both of us. Bingeing and purging. Full blown bulimia. We figured this shit out. Eat easy to purge food. Disgusting, I know. This went on for a good year and a half to two years. I finally just quit. Why was I doing this? Because someone told me I needed to lose weight? Seriously, why let another person have that much say in my actions. Obviously, the bulimia was a control thing for me. I could control it, since I had no control over anything else. I was starting to realize how unhealthy it was. I didn’t want to be like that. I wanted to be healthy for the right reasons. I wanted to like who I was.

I have always been involved in and loved health and fitness and especially nutrition. I taught gymnastics through the summers for the summer rec program and loved helping the kids. It was so fun to watch them prgress.

Flash forward to around 2010. I finally decided to get my personal trainer certification and to pursue the kettlebell stuff, which I absolutely loved, as much as gymnastics, if not more. Being older and wiser I could see the benefit of the kettlebells and how they can change the body without the impact on the joints. Positive. All in, living and breathing kettlebells. Went to Omaha and got my HKC certification, then Santa Fe for RKC, then Dallas for RKC II. I have learned so much about myself and I have to say I am happy in my skin. I really like me.

Here is the full circle part. It is 2015 and I have had the opportunity to train six girls for the summer. A 10 week program. I did not want these girls to ever hate their bodies or be dissatisfied with how they look, or wonder if they fit in, or think they are fat. I will never tell a kid at that age they need to lose weight. I wanted these girls to have a positive experience. I wanted them to gain confidence, get stronger and be happy in their skin. I think I accomplished that. Every session with these girls I couldn’t help but think back on my experience. I did not want to scar them for life. I made sure to choose my words wisely. I was not easy on them, but at the same time, I made sure they had fun and enjoyed themselves, even though they were working hard. I hope I touched their lives in a positive way. No negatives here.

Full Circle – I know this is my path in life. This is God’s plan for me. I can feel it.