Everyone deserves flowers.

Death does not discriminate. 

Death does not care about popularity.

One of my high school classmates died this past week. We weren’t close. I knew her. I remember her being very shy. She was very nice. I keep thinking about her. Rest In Peace Tammy Row. 

I can’t get her out of my head. I keep thinking of her family and how hard this must be for them. 

I keep thinking about how interesting life is. 

In high school, as in any social environment, there are cliques. There are the popular kids, the jocks, the theater people, the loners, and whatever other label you can slap on people. 

This person who died, wasn’t in the popular group. But she was a person. She was just like you or me. She was a mom. She was a wife. She probably had problems and fears and highs and lows, just like all of us. She mattered. 

Death doesn’t discriminate. Death doesn’t care if you are popular or a loner. 

Always think about the impact you have on people. 

“People will forget what you said, people will forget

what you did. But people will never forget how you

made them feel.” Maya Angelou

Treat people the way you want to be treated. Be a little nicer. Be less judgmental. People are people. Smile and say hi. Everyone deserves to be treated well. Everyone deserves flowers. 

A few years ago, I received a message from a classmate. She had told me that she had ordered flowers for some deaths from our high school class. The Riggs High Class of 1982. I absolutely loved the idea and thought it was an amazing and touching gesture for grieving families. 

I just sort of took it over. It meant a lot to me. It really touched my heart. I get all the feels when we lose a classmate. I get all the feels when classmates are losing their parents and family members. It really hits home. I always remember how I felt when my dad died and how much it hurt and how all the emotions hit. A kind gesture can mean the world to someone who is grieving. 

The feelings surface. The sadness. The emotions. The loss. Wondering what happens next. Wondering how to live without them. So many unknowns. It’s nice to have a small touch of “hey, we got your back” from the class. It’s nice to know people care. It’s nice to know people are thinking about you and what you’re going through. It feels good to see that wreath or that bouquet.

We have taken a big hit this year with losing people. I realize it’s life. I know time steals the memories. Time marches on. But with the everlasting bouquets that are sent, I hope it can be a reminder of happy times and loving times with that family. A reminder that life is precious. A reminder to cherish those memories. A reminder for you to get out and live with no regrets. 

We have a flower fund now and it’s great. I am the keeper of the flower fund. Classmates donate to the fund. It’s completely voluntary. I do not care if anyone donates. It definitely is not required. I appreciate the donations for sure. It’s very helpful. Thanks Class of ’82.

I have this lady who makes the arrangements for all these lost family members and classmates. I am proud to call her my friend. She creates the arrangement for the funeral of a mom, a dad, a sister or a brother and the funeral of a classmate. It’s hard, but she makes each bouquet or wreath with love. I can see it in her work. She feels it all. Every emotion. Her work is amazing and I am grateful and honored to be able to have her assistance for these times of  big emotions and pain. Losing loved ones is hard, but Kay puts a lot of love and light into these everlasting bouquets and wreaths. Kay Decker (Bokay Studio) you are an amazing lady and I love what your creations bring to the families of lost loved ones. 

The flowers are always gorgeous and bright. A little glimmer of sunshine peeking through the clouds of the hard days. 

I will keep sending flowers. Everyone deserves flowers. 

When I was a kid, my grandma used to bring us long johns from the Viborg bakery when she would come to visit. She also brought the equalizer – colored peppers. Yellow, red and orange. She was a chronic dieter. I wonder if she thought she had to balance the “bad” food, long johns with the “good” food, peppers. Who knows, but it makes sense in my mind. We could not wait for those long johns when we knew grandma Esther was coming. They were the best. Absolutely delicious. Savored and enjoyed without guilt on the part of us kids. I remember loving the colored peppers just the same. Both foods were just food for me at that point. I remember her coming mostly to the Euclid House. She would arrive and we would run to meet her. Always looking for it. The white box. The bakery box. The long john box. It was simple then. Food was simple then.

I don’t care what anyone says, food is amazing and it will always stir up emotions and memories. We all love food. If someone says they don’t, they are lying! It brings people together and forms those memories and emotions. That is one of my favorite memories of my grandma. In her tiny little town where she lived (Viborg, South Dakota), she was known as the cookie lady. She was always helping where she could. Her baking was the best. She made THE BEST sugar cookies. It makes my mouth water to think of them.  Mmmmm.

That was when food was just food to me. It was when there was no good or bad. That was when I just ate food because we ate food. It would be a few more years before food started becoming good and bad. It would be a few more years when my beloved sport of gymnastics ruined my relationship with food. Things started shifting from simple. From one donut.

Somewhere along the way, your relationship with food was ruined as well. You told me. You told me it’s all or nothing. You can’t lose weight because you think in the all or nothing realm. If you eat something that you consider “bad,” off you go. Running fast away from progress. You think you ruined it. If only you had gotten right back to your plan and knew you didn’t need to be perfect, you would have been fine. But you kept running. Faster and faster and then you got further behind the faster you went.

You also told me you suck at having discipline. That’s because you try to restrict and eat as little as possible. This solidifies the cycle of restricting and overeating and the cycle of I’ll start again on Monday, because I’m blowing it all this weekend. You told me. But if you would have gotten right back to your plan after one meal off plan, you would have been fine.

You also told me you crave “bad” foods all the time. That’s because again, you restrict, but also because you probably aren’t eating enough protein. You started running again. You got frustrated and kept running away. But if you would have gotten right back to your plan, you would have been fine.

You told me you have a hard time being consistent. If you only realized that you don’t have to eat only 1200 calories to lose fat, you would have been fine. You can eat way more than that and still lose body fat. When you restrict your food too much, it makes it impossible to stay consistent. It’s easier to be consistent when you eat more food and lose body fat at a slower pace.

You told me you have no discipline. You told me you eat all the bad foods. If you would have realized you can eat the foods you love and still lose weight, you would have been fine.

All of those examples of complicating things was me. I did them all. I told myself them all. I beat myself up over all of them. The simple in my mind was gone.

You told me you know your biggest hurdle to losing weight is yourself. If you would have believed you could make progress, you would have been fine. Believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it.

It’s easy to beat ourselves up over what we look like or what we think we can’t accomplish. It’s easy to overeat and to keep overeating. It’s easier to be comfortable in our excuses. Because honestly, change takes time. It takes a lot of hard work. It takes guts to commit to change. It doesn’t take perfection. It doesn’t take restriction. It doesn’t take ALL the discipline.

We get one life, being disciplined in your journey is a gift to yourself. Treat it as such. Don’t treat it with dread. You get to do this. You get to be able to change. You get to move your body and change your life. Making that shift, can change your life.

So, my title…you are probably wondering what the hell I mean by that. When my grandma brought those long johns, one of them was enough. Life was simple then and it was enough. The metaphor. Remember when one donut was enough? Remember when life was simple and uncomplicated. That’s the point. That’s the rub. Remember when simple was enough?

The older I got, the more I was influenced by people and things and food and coaches. Then one donut was never enough. I started using food for comfort. I started bingeing and purging. I wanted all the food, because that is what I could control. All the chaos in my life had no chance against all the food. It had no chance against my dirty little secret. It had no chance against me. Simple wasn’t enough then. I had to have things complicated. I thought I thrived off it.

I didn’t. And you shouldn’t either. You are enough. Don’t over complicate the changes you want to make. Just have one donut. It’s enough. You are enough. Do simple.

One donut can be enough. Simple can be enough. We always tend to think that harder is better or more complicated is the way to get results. It’s not. Simplify everything. Simple works better. One donut is better.

Interesting for sure. Just because you can, should you?

Just because you can eat all the hyper-palatable foods and fit them into your day, should you?

Just because you can work out hard seven days a week, should you?

Just because you can jump off that bridge, should you?

You get the idea.

How many times did you hear your parents tell you to think for yourself?

Questions and more questions. Always asking questions. I wonder if I was like that as a kid. Or is it more like being a critical thinker?

Critical Thinking is the act of analyzing facts to understand a problem or topic thoroughly. The critical thinking process typically includes steps like collecting information and data, asking thoughtful questions and analyzing possible solutions.

Thinking for yourself.

So, yeah. Critical thinking.

When it comes to health and fitness, so many times the thought process is more is better. But in the words of the great Dan John, more is just more. If you do more of something, because it’s good, that does not guarantee more will be better. It usually guarantees a nice injury. For instance, strength training. It’s good for us. It’s good for us to strengthen our muscles. But, when we add two a days and when we think we lose all the progress we made if we don’t go hard seven days a week, that’s where the lines get blurry. That’s where more is just more. Think about it. Use that critical thinking. Analyze what is happening. How are you feeling. Collect that data and see what’s going on.

Take for instance sleep, more is not better and less is not better. There is always a sweet spot. What’s your sweet spot? Analyze what is going on with your sleep. Collect that data and then decide if you need to make some changes and then decide how you will make the changes, depending on your collected data.

The same goes for food. Can you fit in those hyper-palatable foods? Sure. But the more of those foods you eat just because you can, does not mean you will see better results in your body or in your progress. Just because you can fit those into your day, doesn’t mean you should. My nutrition consists of counting macros. That means I keep track of my protein, my carbs and my fats. It’s more in depth than counting calories. It’s counting the macronutrients that make up the calories in food. I like keeping track this way. I have an app where I record everything I eat. I weigh my food for accuracy and I like doing this. It’s interesting for me and I love to see what happens to my health and my body.

Just because I can eat hyper-palatable foods, such as potato chips, donuts, and cookies, most of the time I choose not to. You might ask why would I choose not to eat those if I can fit them into my day. I definitely eat them sometimes. But, I notice when I am eating nutrient dense foods most of the time, my body appreciates it. I feel stronger in the gym. I don’t get as tired. I am able to get through my day easier. I sleep better. I have analyzed the data for me and that is what works well. I feel strong and confident in my abilities.

When it comes to eating and working out and sleeping and jumping off bridges, you have the choice. You are the one who gets to make the choices in your life. Things are hard. Change is hard. Even thinking can be hard. You can let the hard scare you from ever doing anything about your health. You can stay the same and year after year ask yourself why you feel so crappy. Or, you can acknowledge that it’s hard, and that you want to feel better and that you are willing to do the work to get there.

I’ve done it. I’ve made those hard changes. It can be frustrating and annoying and it can feel like you will never see any positive changes. Give it time though. Think things through. Think about the reasons you want to change. Think about how you want to feel in six months or six years. That is when the choice becomes a little bit easier to make. Think about what you are doing now and how you can do things differently in order to feel healthier. Jot that shit down. Make a plan. Execute your plan.

Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. It doesn’t mean you aren’t worth it.

Critically think your way through this shit. Find your solution. Take the steps to get there. It is possible. When you think things through, there is a sense of purpose and a sense of accomplishment in your abilities. Confidence grows and knowing you can think yourself through things is such an empowering feeling.

Don’t let people tell you how you should think and feel. Think and feel for yourself. Make decisions for yourself. Especially when it comes to your health, you know your body better than anyone. Do what’s best for your body and for your health.