Is smaller, thinner, skinnier better?
Why not stronger?
Why not healthier?
Why not overall bad ass?
Why are we always wanting to get smaller and lose more weight. What is it that we think is going to make our life better if we are smaller. Do we think our spouses or partners or whomever are going to love us more or better if we are smaller? Do you think that?
Getting smaller (lighter) usually comes with some irritating side effects that are kind of a pain in the ass. You might not even really notice what is going on.
You may start to notice you are hungry all the time. Tired all the time. Thinking about what you can’t eat all the time. Your strength days get harder. You are just fucking tired. All.The.Time. You get hangry and you snap at people. You don’t even really notice it until you come out of that smaller mindset and get into the maintenance mindset and body.
All these things were me and not too long ago. The fat loss phases were where I thought I needed to be. I had all of the above side effects. I just didn’t realize it until I started eating more food. Things came back pretty quickly. Sleep was the first thing I noticed. Energy was the second thing I noticed. I was tired all the time and hungry all the time. That is no way to live. I want to enjoy life and love life. I wasn’t loving anything at that point.
What if you didn’t need to get smaller. Who are you getting smaller for? Ask yourself what you want. Do you want to feel tired and shitty all the time? Or would you rather eat enough food so that you aren’t tired all the time. So you aren’t hungry all the time. So you can bust your our ass on your strength workouts. So you can sleep well. So you can have a sex drive again. So you can feel alive again.
Diets are not meant to last forever, but it’s become a norm. I bet if you ask 10 people if they are on a diet, you will probably get 8 of them who are.
Instead of focusing on smallness, focus on other things. Take that pressure off the number on the scale. Start focusing on how much stronger you can get. Focus on feeding your body and working on what it can do, instead of what it can’t.
Work on the inside. What does your mental landscape look like? It doesn’t matter what the outside looks like. Let’s say you lost 100 pounds and if you didn’t work on the inside, you will probably gain back most of that weight. Until you work on the inner you, the outer you is just, well, a shell. If you need help to sort through trauma, or childhood issues, or anxiety or any other number of mental health points, find someone to talk to. Work on you. Then when you come back around and are trying to change your health, I bet you will find it will be much easier. And, I bet the loss will stick. Make the mental landscape conducive to change.
But, back to the main point here. You don’t need to be small. Healthy and strong are great things to strive for. When you stop under eating and start feeding your body, amazing things begin to happen. Fat loss can be smart loss. You do not need to be on a diet forever. Our bodies weren’t meant to do that.
How much time have you wasted chasing small? And for what? Can you dig deep down into your soul and find out why? What made you want to be small? There is no hurry. Time passes regardless. There is no finish line until we are in the ground, so why keep chasing small? Chase what’s best for you at the moment.
If you stop over exercising, because you think that is the fat loss answer, and start working out smarter, amazing things begin to happen. Stop focusing on the number on the scale. Get those gym gains. Strength training is longevity training. Get in it for life.
When you stop with the no carb/super low carb drama and eat the fucking fruit and potatoes and rice, amazing things begin to happen. Stop eliminating food groups. It’s not sustainable.
When you quit burning the candle at both ends and reduce stress in your life, amazing things begin to happen. Get some damn sleep. Make a bedtime routine and a stress less routine and stick to it.
We get one body. Make it work for you, instead of against you. Feed it the food it wants in order to be healthy and happy. You have to find the root of what is inside that stops you from keeping any weight off. And even maintaining any kind of weight loss. Maintenance is a beautiful place to be. It’s progress. Especially, if you have never been able to stay there. Especially, if you have done the lose and gain the same 10 pounds 100 times. Keep going. Keep trying. Keep digging. Keep exploring yourself.
Being healthy is more than your body. Being healthy is how you see yourself. It’s how you take care of yourself. It takes a lot to get to I love me. But, don’t stop working on your mental and physical health. Inner work is required. Until you get busy on that, it doesn’t matter what you do to the outside. Look inward. Find peace. Find your best self.
To recap –
Being skinny is not required to live a fulfilling and healthy life.
Working on your mental landscape is just as important as your physical health.
It’s okay to hang out in maintenance as long as you want.
Fat loss is okay too. Just don’t stay here forever.
Love yourself no matter what size you are.
Know that it’s okay to change. Nobody gets to tell us it’s not.
It’s okay not to change. Nobody gets to tell us that either.
Work on why you want to change. Make sure it’s for the right reasons. And those reasons are your reasons, so own them. Be there for yourself. Choose you!