Tomorrow is June 3rd. Tomorrow is the day my dad died. Tomorrow it will have been 17 years since he passed. Tomorrow will be a hard day. I have to say when I went to the cemetery today, and as I sat there listening to the wind chimes on the grave behind dad’s, I felt at peace. Usually when I go, I start crying right away and just am overcome with emotions. Today was different. I’m not sure why.

I have been reflecting a lot on life lately and how we live our lives. Am I really living my life? I found out this week that a classmate (Jans Melby) from high school has cancer and is dying. Gut punch. It doesn’t seem like any of us are old enough to die.

As I was sitting at the cemetery, I started looking around. For some reason I have always been intrigued with cemeteries. There is just something about them, other than the fact they are filled with dead people. It’s more than that. They are full of people. They are full of moms, dads, sisters, brothers, babies, aunts and uncles and grandparents. They are full of memories. They are full of life!

I got up and started walking around. I saw my classmate’s parents, Peter and Carole. I can remember them. I’m glad Jans will get to be with them soon.

I saw another classmate too. Bryan Pogany. So young. So sad.

Next, I saw my 7th grade Algebra teacher, Mr. Crance. His name was Baird, but I can’t think of a single one of us who would dare call him by his first name. He scared the shit out of all of us. He was not the most pleasant person in the world. Still, may he continue to rest in peace.

Then I saw a stone that said “Palmer” on the back of it. At first I thought it was Mr. Palmer, the owner of Sooper Dooper, the grocery store I worked at in high school. As I came around to the front, I realized it was not him, but it was Pat Palmer. I worked with her at Sooper Dooper. She was one of the morning ladies. One of the mainstays. One of the faces of the store. I can still see her going through all the candy at the front of the store and taking an inventory so she could put the next week’s order in. She was such a nice lady. I didn’t know her name was actually Pearl. Her stone had a picture of her on it. It was like I was right there talking to her at the store. Such a great memory. I can even hear her laugh.

About this time a worker came by in his pickup and he asked me if I needed help locating someone. I said no, I was just walking around looking at all the people I know. I said I was visiting my dad and just started wandering around. I thought it was nice of him to ask.

I found Dr. Zakahi next. He was my doctor when I was a kid. It was like he walked right up to me. I can see him in his gray pants and plaid shirt, black shoes and white doctor coat. I remember him always making us feel calm. A sweet, sweet man.

Then I found Danna Bren. I went to high school with Lloyd and Danna’s  kids. I remember leaving study hall with Troy and going to his house with some other guys and playing basketball. I was always one of the guys. Not so much one of the girls. Definitely not a girly girl.

Up the hill a little I saw the “Adam” stone. Pat Adam. An amazing lady. I spent quite a bit of time at their house. Their daughter, Paula, was in my grade and my friend, Mary, and I hung out with Karl. So many memories of that family.

I found Shirley next. Shirley Raue. The legendary daycare in town. Everyone went to Shirley’s. I trusted her to raise my first three kids. She was the best babysitter. Hands down. Such a great influence on kids. She was amazing. A great, great lady.

I was wondering where to go next and something made me turn where I wasn’t going to. I looked up and saw the “Mayer” stone. Eugene Mayer was one of my bosses for my very first legal secretary job. He always wore a bow tie. I’m glad I took that turn. Lots of great memories working for that firm.

There was a lot of life in this cemetery visit. So many memories of so many great people. As I’m typing this, now the tears are flowing. As sad as it is to lose loved ones, it still makes me happy to know that I have a lot of special memories of life I have lived.

My dad ALWAYS said that at his funeral he wanted it to rain so that he would be the only dry one and everyone else would be wet. The day of his funeral we had record high temps. I know it was well over 100 and it seems like it was 112 or even hotter. He got his wish because when it came time to lay him to rest, everyone was drenched in sweat and he was the only dry one. As I got in my car to leave today, the temp read 100. I was sweating bad. I started laughing out loud, right along with him. Until next time, Dad.

Do you ever listen to song lyrics? I mean reeaaalllly listen. The kind of song and lyrics you can’t get out of your head. No, not Row, Row, Row Your Boat (you’re welcome).

This week I have been listening to a song. It has been consuming me. I seriously cannot get it out of my head and have been listening to it non-stop! The lyrics have been percolating around in my head for days as I have been trying to find a way to tie it into fitness and nutrition. Honestly, I really just wanted to name this blog post that lyric, even if it wouldn’t have had anything to do with the blog post. I just had to. I LOVE that lyric. Buuut, I have done the ultimate. I have linked it to nutrition and fitness.

The song has the most amazing lyrics though. Not even kidding a little bit. I’m kind of obsessed if you haven’t picked up on that yet.

“Everybody’s high on consolation” —Interesting. Consolation could mean comfort, compassion, pity or encouragement. Maybe someone feels bad because you went the healthy route and have been eating better than you used to and they feel sorry for you. In reality they really feel sorry for themselves because they’re still stuck in crap food land. On the other hand, that person may be happy and encouraging you to do well and maybe you have inspired them to try harder in their journey.

“Everybody’s trying to tell me what is right for me.” Do you feel confused because you just don’t know what is good for you and what isn’t? There is so much information out there, how the hell do you know? Is fat good? Is fat bad? Are eggs good now or still bad?

“I think I got it, I got the strength to carry on.” You are feeling good. You are getting motivated. It’s working well. You feel awesome! You are working through the demons.

“I need a drink and a quick decision.” That’s the bad thing about drinking, we usually make bad decisions. Hellooooooo Cheez-Its. Usually there is something more going on. We overeat or over drink because of unresolved issues. Sort that shit out. OR we are just going all out since we made the decision to step it up. I don’t recommend this, but you can bet most of us do this. The old, I will start Monday, thing. Yeah. Knock that shit off. Just start.

“Now it’s up to me, ooh, what will be.” It’s all up to you, it’s all in your hands. You are the only one who has control of what you are going to do with your health, with your life, with anything. Nobody can do it for you.

“Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away.” Get rid of those negative thoughts that consume you. In order to move on you need to move on. That means away from negative thinking, away from self sabotage, away from feeling not good enough. Let’s get over this already. We are awesome!

“She’s gone – what went wrong, I’d pay the devil to replace her.” Pull the trigger. Break up with your old self. Break up with processed food. Break up with pop (Yep, I will call it that until I die.) Break up with the things that are holding you back. Break up with that mental chatter. Break up with the clutter. I know you can. The old life is so tempting. Don’t give in.

Have you figured out the song yet? She’s Gone by Hall and Oates. What do you think? Nutrition song or just a good old fashioned break up song?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpR8r0D2EyY

I am not even going to label my food style. It’s what I choose. It’s how I choose to eat. My eating style has changed in the last year. It is customized for me.

I used to eat paleo pretty strict most of the time. I really like how my body responded to paleo and I still eat that way a lot. In fact, I prefer meat and vegetables and good fat for my meals. But sometimes I get in a mood for something different. I eat oatmeal or oat bran a few times a week, sometimes. Some weeks I don’t eat it all. I eat a ton of vegetables and I love meat. Steak and chicken mainly. I do eat fish once in a while too.

While I believe there is a time and a place for hardcore, super strict eating, I am not there at this point in my life. I eat more intuitively these days. If I am really in tune with my body and listening to what it is telling me, it’s all there. If I want a piece of candy, I eat the candy. It’s usually a mini Kit Kat or a Reese’s. I eat one and I am done. Most days I don’t care at all about candy. I probably eat it once every few months. I really do not have a sweet tooth. Sometimes it may be six months.

If I want rice sometimes, I will eat rice. I don’t eat it all the time. It’s not the norm for me. I usually get my complex carbs from sweet potatoes or regular potatoes. Again, IF my body is asking for them. If not, I get my carbs from vegetables. I am perfectly fine with that. I love vegetables.

Everyone’s bodies are different. For example, I don’t do much dairy, other than cream in my coffee, which by the way I have adapted in the last year. I used to do straight black coffee. I always joked about that, saying, “I like my coffee black, like my heart.” I guess it’s moving into the gray area. I can’t do a lot of dairy though because my stomach reacts.

As someone who had a full blown eating disorder when I was in high school, it has taken me a while to figure out my eating style and how foods affect me. I actually enjoy the process. It is super interesting. Nutrition shouldn’t be something we are scared of. It shouldn’t be something we struggle with. I think most of us know what is good for us and what obviously isn’t.

A typical day for me is either oatmeal and eggs for breakfast, or just eggs with vegetables. Lunch is a giant salad with chicken and drizzled with olive oil. Supper is vegetables, chicken or steak and sweet potatoes. That’s where I am right now. I am into single foods. Not recipes. With my incredibly packed schedule, it is working for me and takes the headache out of trying to figure out what to make. It is so easy for me to have chicken on hand and cooked, just waiting to marry it up with some vegetables and good fat. The last two days I had greek yogurt and berries for breakfast. Different for me, but just hungry for it. It is kind of cool to eat according to what your body tells you.

I would caution though that just because I am eating pretty much what I want, I adhere to portion control. As long as I am eating unprocessed foods and in reasonable quantities, I have been feeling great and am at a good point in my nutrition journey.

My nutrition coaching adheres to the same principles. Individual and tailored to you.

How do you eat? Do you listen to your body? Have you tried intuitive eating?