September 27, 2024

Acceptance and Contentment

At what point to we become accepting and maybe even content?

As a victim of diet culture and body image issues for what seems like my whole life, I am leaning in to contentment.

All the cliche phrases come to mind about just fucking love yourself no matter what. But until you have walked in someone else’s shoes, you have no idea.

You can wonder all you want. You can ask yourself why don’t they just be okay with their body or their appearance or whatever is their actual hard thing? Only that person holds that answer.

We don’t know their perspective. We only see the outside. As a person who suffered from the body image thing and an eating disorder, I can say I relate. I still don’t know, but I can relate.

As I have traveled this earth for 60 years I am feeling more and more comfortable in this vessel that is called my body. It’s been a work in progress. And just like most people there are days that I might not like something about my body. And that’s normal. And that’s okay.

The sooner we realize that our bodies are okay no matter what and that our bodies are going to change over time and that it’s even okay to want to change our bodies, we just struck gold. Our body is not our wholeness. Our body is not our identity. There is so much more to each one of us than our outward appearance.

Our bodies change all the time. So many struggle with the expectation that they want to have a version of their former body self. What for? Start embracing the changes. Start really being grateful for this one body you get and learn to take care of it. Age in this amazing body you have.

I am still amazed at the resilience of our bodies. I abused my body with cigarettes and alcohol and binging and purging and still my body showed up for me.

My body gave birth to four babies. I gained a ton of weight and lost a ton of weight and still my body showed up for me.

I put my body through tough workouts and sometimes dumb workouts and still it shows up for me.

I feed my body well most of the time, and not so great some of the time, and still it shows up for me.

But the industry is going to try and tell you that your body is broken because you have some fat, because you have some jiggle, because you have some cellulite or because you have some fucking lines on your face or gray hair. Fuck that noise!

Congratulations you are normal. You are human.

Today, I had a minor surgery and am home just chilling, resting and reflecting. Today I am very grateful my body showed up for me.

In turn, I will keep showing up for it and for life so I can age well. I will keep showing up to stay strong and resilient. I will continue to be about it.

As I lie here on my bed, I am seeing the normal things on my body, the fat and the stretch marks that I have so often been embarrassed by.

I am grateful for a husband who strokes my stomach because he loves all of me and I don’t feel funny or self-conscious about it. He doesn’t care that my body has changed.

This picture of my stomach with the stretch marks and the legs with the bumps and dry skin….the industry would be trying to sell me a ton of creams and lotions and pills in order to “fix” my brokenness. No thanks. I’m not fucking broken.

Today I am grateful. It takes a long time to get to I love me. Today I feel that. Today, I feel content.