56 Eve

56 Eve

56 eve.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Tomorrow is March 12th. Another year. Did I waste it? Did I use it wisely? We don’t get much time. We may feel like we do, but we don’t. 

As I sit here and look back on my year, I can’t help but think how hard I worked. I can’t help but think about how many people I have helped become better. It’s humbling. It’s a privilege. 

What did I learn? How did I change? Did I grow? I learned to meet people where they are. I learned how to meet myself where I am. That is growth. That is change. 

I want more. I want to learn new things. I am always searching. I asked a question in my nutrition group this morning. “What is one talent you wish you had?” The responses were interesting. Most people wanted to be able to sing!!! I wanted to be able to draw/paint and play guitar. Maybe in a few years that will be my next challenge.

Right now I am loving what I am doing. I love my training clients at the studio and I love my nutrition clients. I love the puzzles and the figuring out of things. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes I just want to quit. But, isn’t that life? It’s all time. t’s all life. 

Use it wisely. 

I’m sitting in my library looking out at the almost spring weather. I’m drinking a cup of decaf. My mug says, “I drink the tears of my haters.” It’s funny. I’m listening to Easy by the Commodores. Today is nice. Over 60 degrees. I feel out of sorts. I feel tired. I feel restless. Is it the time change? Maybe. It is the full moon? Maybe. It is my age? Maybe

Maybe it’s a little bit of everything. I feel strong and I feel confident. I preach this. The older you get, the more you need to stay focused on your health. Get rid of that asshole in your head telling you you aren’t important or telling you you don’t matter. Work through the self-sabotage that we all have had or do have. Start living. When we age we need to keep moving. We need to lift heaver weights. We need to learn about food and how it affects our body. We need to grab this opportunity and age gracefully. Age with health. Age with confidence. Age wisely. Do things. 

I accomplished a lot this year. 

I quit drinking – Over 500 days now. 

I built my business up. Slow and steady. 

I still continue to use the kettlebells and they are still my passion

I lost 40 pounds. 

I gained a crap ton of strength

I have been continuing my education through certifications.

I have read a lot of books this year. 

I have been able to change the channel in my own head the self-doubt creeps in or when that voice keeps trying to get me to do things that are going to derail my progress, but most importantly, I am still a work in progress! 

My thoughts are all over the place. Very scattered, torn and unorganized. Anxious even. Aging. The crux of my thoughts. Thinking of everything. Thinking of nothing. Thinking of something. And then here it comes. I can’t help it. 

Four more years and I will be 60. Four more years and I will be the age my dad was when he died. How is that even possible? It’s so weird to even let my mind go there. I want not to think about it. It creeps in ever so slightly, every so often. 

I look around. I think about how much I have to be thankful for. I am. I thank Him every single day for this beautiful, crazy thing called life. For this time called life. 

I will use it wisely. 

I will continue to grow. 

I will continue to set boundaries

I will continue to work on myself

I will continue

Happy 56 Eve to me…