About that mom thing…

All I ever wanted was to be a mom. I remember playing house as a kid. I always knew I wanted to have kids. I think people know. I did. It was just something I knew would happen. 

It happened to me four times. I was blessed with healthy babies four times. 

I loved being pregnant. It’s such a miracle and I was lucky to not have any problems with my pregnancies. 

Baby #1 – I was 22 when she was born. I was so excited. I didn’t know if she was a boy or a girl and waited for the surprise. My labor was relatively short about 10 hours total. A 7 pound girl. Teeny tiny. I had no idea what I was doing, but I had good instincts. They kicked in and we lived to see another day. LOL. We fumbled our way through the first baby stage and beyond. She had no hair and everyone thought she was a boy. Due date was the 19th and she was born on the 22nd. Three days late. At this time I was married to my first husband. He was in the Navy and we lived in Oak Harbor, WA, Whidbey Island Naval Base.

I had great friends there. So many young women wanting to be mothers, pregnant at the same time. One friend and I had the same due date. We were both so excited on our way to becoming first time mothers. Almost 35 years ago. So hard to believe it’s been that long. She didn’t get that baby. God did. Her baby passed away a week before we were due. She had to wait and deliver a stillborn baby. It was so hard. I felt so bad for her and guilty for having a healthy baby. Rest In Peace Baby Holly. 

Baby #2 – I was 24 years old. Another one where the sex was a surprise. He was a big boy. My labor was very short – about 4 hours this time. A big boy, 8 pounds 14 ounces. A chunker. 19 months after the first one. He was also born at the naval base. The bond was immediate. You hear about it all the time. It’s there. Babies are amazing. The emotions flooding through the body. Being responsible for another life is such a privilege. This guy was due on the 20th and wasn’t born until the 28th. Very late. His big sister was the most loving and helpful sister. She also had that immediate bond with him. 

Baby #3 – I was 27 years old. This baby was born in Pierre, SD. He was 7 pounds 13 ounces. This baby gave me grief. My labor was hard and intense. All back labor and all pain labor. By the time I finally asked for pain mediations, I was told it was too late. This guy made quite the entrance. He struggled a bit with the cord wrapped around his neck and a bruised and purple face, but he did okay. His due date was never set in stone, so I will say he arrived right on time on the 30th. This baby was truly unique. Always smiling and such a good baby. 

Baby #4 – I was 35 years old. This baby was also born in Pierre, SD. We thought it was a girl, but we were not 100 percent sure. She weighed 7 pounds 6 1/2 ounces. This labor was not bad. I was at the hospital just a few hours before she was born. The cord was also around her neck and she was purple, but the nurses were amazing. Everything okay. Everything all good. Another beautiful baby. Another miracle. She was due the 11th and was born the 21st. The latest one of the four. 

Corie, Spencer, Thomas and Tayler – thanks for choosing me to be your mom. 

So what is a mom anyway?

Being a mom is unconditional love

Being a mom is feeling overwhelmed and under knowledged

Being a mom is letting your kids flourish and empowering them to be their own person.

Being a mom is letting your kids make mistakes and trying not to fix them.

Being a mom is helping your kids to thrive.

Being a mom is being a cheerleader.

Being a mom is cherishing every single memory.

Being a mom is a big job.

Being a mom takes responsibility and heart and grit.

Being a mom is the shoulder to cry on.

Being a mom is hard.

Being a mom is rewarding. 

Being a mom is love. 

Being a mom is worry. That never goes away. 

So Corie, Spencer, Thomas and Tayler – I thank you. I love you, I’m always here for you and I will always worry about you. Every. Single. Day