I’ve been wondering again. I’ve told you before. I wonder about a lot of different things. Lately it’s been pressure. The pressure we put on our kids, or the pressure we put on ourselves. The pressures our parents put on us. What kind of pressure?
The be good enough pressure. The comparison pressure. The get out in the real world pressure. Pressure, pressure and more pressure. All that pressure. It starts with our kid selves and just keeps building to our adult selves. Sports, grades, careers, life.
So the next thing I started wondering about is how pressure affects people. What effect is it having? What makes a person more resilient to pressure? Is it the way their brain is wired? How does one person let crap just roll off their back, when another one obsesses over what someone said to them or about them. One moves on, one doesn’t.
How does one person crack under it and the other doesn’t? What kinds of coping mechanisms do people use to deal with the pressure? Look at all those question marks. It’s crazy. I get in a loop and my mind just keeps going through the questions. I can’t help it.
I feel like I am pretty well put together as far as not letting stress and pressure get to me. But why? Am I more resilient and more apt to be able to deal with pressure? Some people numb it. Some people turn to alcohol, or drugs or food or over spending.
I think those numb -ers can be in all of us. Sometimes the numb feels better than living with the pressure. Sometimes the numb is a way out. So many people have a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset. When we have a fixed mindset we feel like we can’t improve. However, when we have a growth mindset, we think our intelligence, our talents and our abilities can be developed. We can overcome obstacles with effort, strategies and help from others. We can become more resilient.
In fact, I am a big fan of using kid friendly books and psychology ideas to help my nutrition clients. I think it is super important because so many of us did not learn how to cope with our big emotions, our big feelings and our big pressures. So many times we are so concerned about pleasing others that we forget to be curious about ourselves and to learn about ourselves. We don’t even know ourselves.
Aimlessly drifting or moving with purpose. Which was is the right way? Back to that pressure. The trick here is to make sure that if you are moving with purpose, you are moving with YOUR purpose. The goals you want to pursue, not your parents, not your teachers, not your spouse, not anyone, but you. “What you get my achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” Zig Ziglar
I think a main component of alleviating some of the immense pressure that is our lives, is to make sure to have the support of others. This can make life and those pressures a lot more easy to handle. It’s too hard to do things alone. The feelings of disappointing people can be huge.
The pressure can be overwhelming. The numb – ers can be overwhelming. A few things that can help with the pressure is to ask yourself some questions when you are feeling overwhelmed. Ask yourself if you got enough sleep. Ask yourself if you got some movement in in the last few days. And ask yourself if you asked anyone for help. Finds some support. Talk to a friend, a mentor anyone whose advice you trust.
Maybe check in with your kid once in a while and talk to them. Check in with yourself and see how your pressure is going. Check in with friends and other people you know. Ask questions.
We all need a friend. And we all need to be able to ask for help. Do it sooner, rather than later, because sometimes, later is too late.