I picked up my sister from the airport in Rapid City, yesterday. She is here to help with the Retreat I am hosting on Saturday. On the way home we started talking about family and about our grandma. I remembered this blog post I had written about spending time at Grandma’s house when we were little and wanted to give it a repeat.
We also talked a little bit about affection and how our grandma didn’t really show it. I find it a little strange how that happens, but we have no idea what shaped or formed her growing up. As I read through this post, I can see that grandma showed us affection by giving us things. She always brought us food. When she would come to visit us when we lived in the Euclid house, she would always bring two things: Long John pastries and colored peppers. Interesting combo, don’t you think? I wonder, since she was always on a diet if that was her way of balancing things out. She definitely showed her affection by giving things. She was known as the cookie lady in the town she lived in. She was an incredible baker. She made the BEST sugar cookies. I have always tried to recreate it and have never been able to get it just right. I can see now that the necklace she gave me was definitely a sign of affection on her part. I treasure this even more now. The food memories. The necklace memories. The spending time at grandma’s memories. They are etched in my mind and I appreciate her so much more as time passes.
A friend of mine and I were talking the other day, as we often do, about random stuff. He is going to be moving and has always said he is just going to get a trailer and dump it on a lot somewhere and not have to worry about any other expenses.
That got me to thinking about the seemingly carefree lifestyle of being a kid. I remember visiting my grandma in Vermillion, SD. She lived in a trailer park. I remember like it was yesterday. We had so much fun just playing outside, climbing the chain link fence beside her trailer. I remember I ripped my favorite pair of shorts climbing that fence. I also remember the trailer. The steps up to it were made of some type of metal or iron and made a weird noise when walking up them. They were kind of shaky too. I remember the texture of the door. Strange. Hard to explain. Kind of like bubbled paint. I remember the cool door knob. Another weird texture. A different kind of round than normal door knobs.
I also remember that my grandma was always on a diet and always watching her weight. She always had a box of what looked like caramels on her kitchen table. It seems like they were called Ayds or something like that. Some nutrition mumbo jumbo no doubt. Those things tasted so good. They were supposed to suppress the appetite. Not sure if they worked but we always begged and begged to eat them. Every once in a while she let us have one. Seemed like they only made us hungrier.
My grandma had a cool Siamese cat named Simon. He hated us. We probably tormented him.
One particular summer I remember being devastated. Grandma had given me a necklace. It was a glass ball and had a mustard seed inside. It was so special to me. I thought I was king shit when she gave that to me. I know there was a special meaning behind the mustard seed. My sister and I were playing outside. I remember staring at the leaves on the trees and looking at the sky. I put my hand to my neck to feel the necklace. It was gone! How could that be? I didn’t hear it fall off or anything. I was sick to my stomach. That necklace meant the world to me. I feel like I let her down. Like I wasn’t responsible enough to keep something special. I was devastated. I searched and searched and searched for the necklace. I can’t remember telling her I lost it, but I must have. I’m sure she was disappointed. I know I was in myself. I have never forgotten that feeling. SAD!
The meaning behind the mustard seed.
“What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.” Mark 4:30-32 (NIV)