how far into the rabbit hole are you?


How far into the rabbit hole are you?

Do you ever feel like life just sucks and you can’t squeeze out one more drop of positivity or motivation? Have you started eating crap and skipping your workouts? Are you an emotional wreck to the point it is starting to affect all aspects of your life?

You can’t focus at work and you really don’t care. You have no energy and you are tired ALL.THE.TIME!! You eat whatever you want, no matter what it is. You may have joint pain or other aches and pains. Pretty soon your leggings are your dress pants or you’ve graduated to the Duluth Trading Company’s ballroom jeans, because nothing else fits.

The first thing you do when you get up is dive face first into crap food because it makes you feel better. Triple caramel breve with whip cream anyone? (Breve is the one made with all half and half, in case you didn’t know). The last thing you do at night is have just “one more.” You know what I’m talking about. It’s not one more glass of water.

Is this your rabbit hole?

I was talking to a friend today and that is exactly what she has been feeling. It is super hard to climb out of that hole when everything seems to be going against you. I remember feeling that way after getting divorced many, many years ago. Luckily I found John and we have been together almost 20 years. Life knocks us off our feet and it’s hard to get back up. Because why should we? Well, because that’s life. Life’s lessons.

I do remember though how hard it was to get up each day and take care of my kids and make sure they were okay. I remember many times I didn’t want to get out of bed. I remember thinking that things would never get better and that I was going to feel stuck forever. I remember trying to control everything and could control nothing. I remember using alcohol and food and oh my God, shopping, to numb my feelings. I wanted to just forget everything.

In all honesty, I still have a hard time to this day. I still feel guilty for seemingly wrecking my kids’ lives. That’s another post for another day. Maybe never. That’s a chapter I’m not sure I want anyone to read.

Buuuut, how do we move on? How do we get our shit together? Well, guess what? First of all, you need to take responsibility and quit lying to yourself about what is going on in your life. Own your shit.

Second, make yourself a priority. It may seem selfish, but if you don’t, you won’t change. You need to take care of yourself first or you will never be able to take care of anyone else. Think about this, if you are eating shit and drinking all the time, no doubt you aren’t going to be very healthy. You will probably start to get sick and then you will lose work time, you will lose workout time, you will lose family time, you will lose time!

Finally, make a plan and stick with it. More on that below.

This is one can you do not want to kick down the street. In order to get your life back and start climbing out of that rabbit hole try implementing these 5 tips on how to do YOU:
1. Decide, and take responsibility — you have to decide you are ready to change. Nobody can do that for you. And again, own your shit. No excuses.

2. Commit and don’t back down – Commit to working on yourself and stay focused.

3. Show up EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Again, no excuses. Work on yourself every day.

4. Be consistent. If you know me at all, you know I totally believe in being consistent. It is a life changer.

5. Realize it will be hard. Nothing good is easy, and nothing easy is good.
But most of all, always remember you are human, you are not broken, so start the climb out of that rabbit hole.

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There Is No Wagon


I have to admit that I have tried so many different ways of eating. I wanted the quick fix. I wanted to feel fabulous in 10 days, or 30 days or however many days. I wanted to just make that fucking change to start the ball rolling. Who doesn’t feel that way? I tried so hard I developed an eating disorder because of it and a few other factors. Enter high school gymnastics…

I can remember being in high school and I had a gymnastics coach who wanted me to lose weight. He wanted me to lose 10 pounds. At that time I weighed 116 pounds. I remember feeling so shitty and so defeated and most of all I felt like a big fat cow (even though I wasn’t). Bulimia became my thing. I was really good at it. Want to know what foods come up easier? I can tell you. Want to know which ones don’t? I can tell you that too. t lasted for about 3 or 4 years. For some reason I just stopped. I honestly think I was tired of hiding it. Tired of eating a ton of food and then trying to find a place to throw up. Being ashamed and just wanting to feel healthy and not tired and run down. I wanted to be normal. It is a scary and powerful disorder. Once in a while though, and I mean once in a while, like maybe one or two times a year, if I have been overeating, that dark place in my mind, that asshole called doubt comes creeping in and tries to tell me to just get rid of that food. I don’t let it control me. I move on. Sometimes that is a hard thing to do. I have grown a ton and I do know that would be the worst thing I could do for my health, so I move on. I think to this day, however, I still have some body image issues, but I will say I am pretty happy with how I look. I also have a pretty healthy relationship with food now. I am super strong and I have muscles. I will never be skinny. I’m not built that way. I have super strong shoulders and legs. I actually like my body type. My body functions well and I love that.

You don’t have to eat perfectly. You don’t have to be perfect. Perfect is, well, perfectly stupid. NOBODY is perfect. You need to quit telling yourself that you will start Monday or when you get back from vacation. Stop putting it off. If you don’t just start, you will never see the changes you are trying to implement.

Strop striving for perfection. Guess what? You can mess up and keep going. You didn’t fall off the wagon. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAGON!! You don’t have to face plant into crap food for weeks, because you messed up. Start slow and start forming habits that will stay with you the rest of your life.

Wondering where to start? My answer: you just fucking start. You do, however, have to be ready. So how do you know if you’re ready? Trust me, you know. Don’t fool yourself and make excuses. Pants too damn tight? Tired of feeling sick and tired? Feel like a fricking bloated whale? Does your skin look like shit? Is your sleep crappy? Feel like a failure? Sound familiar? See, you do know.

I say it all the time, consistency will get you where you want to be. And after all, how do you think habits form? Yep, with consistency.

My style of eating is not a quick fix. It’s not a challenge. I try to stay consistent with my eating habits and try not to overindulge. Don’t get me wrong, I do indulge, but I keep it in check. Thinking more gray and less extreme AND eating slowly has been a game changer for me.

Try it some time and let me know how it works for you.