Peggie Larsen

Normal or Abnormal

Normal –  

conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine normal working hours under normal circumstances It was just a normal, average day. He had a normal childhood. Their reaction to the news was normal and expected.

Abnormal – 

deviating from the normal or average a person with abnormal [=exceptional] strength, abnormal powers of concentration

often : unusual in an unwelcome or problematic way abnormal behavior abnormal test results

I wanted to put a nutrition spin on this when I heard the normal/abnormal phrase in a book I am listening to The Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg. She was not talking about nutrition. She was talking about people and behavior and sensory issues and many other important things and distinctions with behavior. So I don’t want to minimize the importance of that work. 

But rather, normal and abnormal when it comes to our bodies and our food and our behaviors and our perceptions. And, just as an aside, I don’t believe there really is a normal. There is a societal normal or a social media normal. For this post, though, we will go with what is normal through diet and mindset and what is abnormal according to social media and then I will put my spin on them. My brain just happened to be pinged when I heard the phrase and this is what came out of that ping. 

And, it is also more than normal and abnormal. It’s more like good or bad. I hate that. The tunnel of the thoughts. 

Normal thinking when it comes to diet and fitness: 

It’s normal to be on a diet all the damn time. It’s normal to hate our bodies. It’s normal to think we need to change for someone. It’s normal to yo-yo diet. It’s normal to binge eat. It’s normal to think in terms or all or nothing. It’s normal to think you messed it all up when you eat a donut. It’s normal to think you have to have all the self-control and motivation in order to succeed. It’s normal to think it has to be hard to change. It’s normal to have perfect skin. It’s normal there is not a speck of cellulite on your body. It’s normal to have a completely flat stomach. It’s normal. 

Abnormal thinking when it come to diet and fitness:

It’s abnormal to be at an ideal weight. It’s abnormal not to be on a diet. It’s abnormal to love our bodies. It’s abnormal if we don’t think we need to change something about ourselves. It’s abnormal if we aren’t losing and gaining and losing and gaining weight as in the yo-yo dieting. It’s abnormal if we don’t have some type of disordered eating. It’s abnormal to be okay with eating donuts or ice cream or candy. It’s abnormal to think we can change. It’s abnormal to think it’s okay to not be motivated and halve willpower all the time. It’s abnormal if you have cellulite and a stomach folds. It’s abnormal. 

The above is a sampler of the normal and abnormal. There are so many others. 

When did our thinking become so messed up? Think back. Think way back to when you were learning about your body and learning about eating. When was that? Fourth grade? Fifth? Do you remember. 

Do you remember the first time you thought you were fat? What made you think that? Was it something you saw in a magazine or something someone said to you? Let’s not kid ourselves though, we all know what overweight looks like, because we have constantly been shown. 

But what I want to know is when it became “normal” to constantly be on a diet. I want to know when it became “normal” to hate ourselves so much and to bad mouth ourselves so much and shame ourselves so much. When did that happen? More importantly, why did that happen? And why was it okay and normal? Just wow on these ones. 

Those are my thoughts on the whole diet and fitness industry, the whole normal and abnormal, the whole good and bad. I want normal to be the abnormal. I want that channel to change. I want the education to start with young kids. I don’t want them to be shamed by adults or coaches or other kids (who have been influenced by adults) who constantly bully them for how they look. I want them to be healthy. I want them to know what healthy is. I want them to learn how to be healthy and happy. 

It takes work to change the norm. I think the work is happening though and it is working. I think the turnaround has begun. There are many social media influences who are starting to change this. They are making a new normal. It’s refreshing. It’s heading in the right direction. I applaud them. 

It’s okay to be different. Embrace your different. Get confident in how you feel and look. If you want to change how you look, that’s cool, but do it because you want to change for you, not anyone else. Change for you, not because you are being forced to through the eyes of society and because you are feeling less than. Make up your own damn rules. Do it the way you want and the way that works for you. Let’s work to change that perceived normal.  – 

Act your age. Dress your age. Expectations? Because it’s always been that way? Who decided? What does that even mean? 

Act your age – what age? How am I supposed to act. What does 56 acting look like?

Dress your age – what age? How am I supposed to dress and what does 56 dressing look like?

I’m 56. I have a crap ton of tattoos. I have a nose ring. I’m married. I have children. I have grandchildren. I wear Converse and have since high school. I wear jeans. I wear sleeveless shirts that I cut off and made holes in myself. I wear Doc Martens and have for years. I have long hair. It’s white. I own my own business and I swear – A LOT. 

I wear shorts. I wear sports bras. I wear clothes that maybe high schoolers wear. So what? Does that make me a bad person or does that make me something I shouldn’t be? Am I not acting my age or dressing my age? Does it fucking matter? Because, I’m  still not sure what that looks like. 

Who is society or social media to tell me how I should act or dress. And I still am trying to figure out what age of dress or what age of acting I should be. How do you know that or how do you feel that? Because someone told us? Because that’s the way it’s always been? 

Don’t put me in an age cage. I refuse to go there. I am living my life full speed. I am living my life and living in the now. Not whatever 56 is or is supposed to be. I just feel the way I feel and I just act the way I act. I’m not trying to be younger or act younger. I’m just me. This is me. Like me or don’t. The door to my age cage is always open. 

Always trust your gut…

I was 15 or 16 years old. I was in 9th or 10th grade. Athletes had to get a yearly sports physical done in order to be able to participate in sports. I missed the sports physical that year when they had them at the school, so I had to make an appointment to get one done at the clinic. No physical, no gymnastics. 

At that age, as most girls are, I was vulnerable and self-conscious about everything. I was self-conscious about everything, but mostly my body. I was very nervous about having to go to the clinic for the physical. They usually just put us in a line and we rolled through for the ones at the school. Super easy. Super chill. At that age everything mattered and everything was a big deal.

At that age adults were supposed to be on our side. They were supposed to protect us.

I was really upset I had missed the one at the school. I have no idea what I was doing that I missed it. But, there was nothing I could do about it and had to go to the clinic. 

I went to the clinic and was to see a Physician’s Assistant, or PA. I was nervous. My pits were drenched and I could feel sweat running down my sides. Awesome. I waited. I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen. I didn’t like going to the doctor anyway and now I was there to get a sports physical. Ugh. 

I felt like I had been waiting forever. It was finally my turn. The person called my name. I followed him down a short hallway. He told me to go in the room and take all my clothes off.  I made sure to ask about the physical itself. I specifically asked him, “You only check the same tings as what they do at the school, right?” He said, “Unless you want me to check something else.” I was mortified. I was even more nervous now. Why would I have to take off my clothes? My gut was warning me. It was telling me.  My thoughts were going crazy. I didn’t understand why I would need to take my clothes off. It didn’t make sense. The intuition was real. There would be no reason for me to have to take off my clothes. 

That day, I listened to my gut. I didn’t take off all my clothes. I didn’t take off any of my clothes. I sat there on the table waiting for him to come back. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. It felt like forever. I was a huge rule follower and I felt like I was going to get in trouble. I thought maybe he wouldn’t sign the form and I wouldn’t be able to participate in the sport I loved. I was scared and nervous and I wanted to do the right thing. 

The right thing to me was not taking off my clothes. The right thing to me was having the courage and intuition to know something bad was going to happen to me if I did what I was told. The right thing to me was sticking up for myself. 

The wrong thing for him was thinking every young girl was going to take off all their clothes just because he said to. The wrong thing for him was abusing his position. The wrong thing for him was being so arrogant to think his motives couldn’t or shouldn’t be questioned. 

He came back in the room a few minutes later and never said one word about me not being undressed. At that point in time, I knew I made the right decision. I was right to listen to my gut. I was right to listen to my intuition. I was right to stick up for myself. I was right to question authority. 

I couldn’t wait to get out of that place. I couldn’t wait to get away from him. 

I think back about what happened. I think about it step by step. I think how it could have been a lot different. The thing is though, I shouldn’t have to think about how lucky I was. He never should have done that. He never should have said those things to me. He should have made me feel safe and he didn’t.

Always listen to your gut. If the voice is warning you, listen to it. 

And there will be haters who will say, well nothing happened to you, but that would be missing the whole damn point now, wouldn’t it?

If anything like this has ever happened to you, I’m sorry.