blame it on the alcohol

I get writing inspiration from my clients all the time. This morning one of my clients and I were talking about things. We always talk about things. A full range of things. I love talking to her. She’s one of my favorite people in the whole world. We go deep. Today’s topics included peeing while doing jumping things, dairy products, men, friends, and alcohol. We solved a lot of the world’s problems in 30 minutes. A constant that we always end up talking about though is nutrition and body image and how messed up things are in the world regarding body image and why we are so effed up because of society’s expectations of us. We re-hashed my email that had gone out the day before about scale weight and how that whole fiasco messes with everyone’s heads. I hope you got my email. It was a little bit of a rampage.

We moved on to more things and we started talking about alcohol. We both agreed that it probably isn’t the best thing for us and it probably holds us back from some of our goals regarding fitness and even aesthetics. Maybe even life. We also talked about cutting it out for 30 days to see what happens. It can only be a good thing, right?

I’m not saying we can’t ever have alcohol, but instead of saying, “Shit, I had a bad day, I need a drink,” maybe we should save it for a special occasion and have a few glasses of wine at a graduation or at a wedding or someplace like that. Dial it down. We can still live our lives and not feel deprived.

We all have one in our bodies— a dial, a volume button, a governor, a switch, a tuner. You know, the turn it on up or dial it down controller. Every single one of us has that. How we choose to use it is up to us. Maybe we need to dial down our consumption.

But hey I get it. I like a nice glass of wine. I can go in spurts. But if I am drinking quite a bit of wine, I make sure that I am getting my sweat on to get rid of those toxins from it. Let’s face it, alcohol isn’t the most nutritious thing we can put in our bodies, and put in our bodies consistently. There are studies about wine and breast cancer, and I am sure about alcohol and cancer in general. The pic is a book about this very thing. It is amazing. It is SUPER science-y. Just saying. It’s not an easy read.

And about that bad day thing, we wondered when society or our lives became so messed up that if we had a bad day we NEEDED to have a drink. It’s actually kind of sad that we use that as an excuse to drink. And seriously, why can’t we cope with life. What emotions are we trying to mask or hide that we can’t deal with, without alcohol. It’s very interesting, I think. But people also do the same thing with food. The overeating, the undereating, the control, the no control. There is always some way that we try to escape reality. Alcohol, food or even shopping. Dig deep enough and you WILL find it.

All in all, it is your choice how you live your life. It’s your choice how you regulate that governor in your body. It’s your choice how your drink your drinks and eat your eats and shop your shops.

We may start a Facebook page and do a 30 day dry challenge. Hit me up if you want in. If I get enough of us we will do exactly that. Who knows what we might learn about ourselves. It might be pretty eye-opening.

i need a drink and a quick decision


Do you ever listen to song lyrics? I mean reeaaalllly listen. The kind of song and lyrics you can’t get out of your head. No, not Row, Row, Row Your Boat (you’re welcome).

This week I have been listening to a song. It has been consuming me. I seriously cannot get it out of my head and have been listening to it non-stop! The lyrics have been percolating around in my head for days as I have been trying to find a way to tie it into fitness and nutrition. Honestly, I really just wanted to name this blog post that lyric, even if it wouldn’t have had anything to do with the blog post. I just had to. I LOVE that lyric. Buuut, I have done the ultimate. I have linked it to nutrition and fitness.

The song has the most amazing lyrics though. Not even kidding a little bit. I’m kind of obsessed if you haven’t picked up on that yet.

“Everybody’s high on consolation” —Interesting. Consolation could mean comfort, compassion, pity or encouragement. Maybe someone feels bad because you went the healthy route and have been eating better than you used to and they feel sorry for you. In reality they really feel sorry for themselves because they’re still stuck in crap food land. On the other hand, that person may be happy and encouraging you to do well and maybe you have inspired them to try harder in their journey.

“Everybody’s trying to tell me what is right for me.” Do you feel confused because you just don’t know what is good for you and what isn’t? There is so much information out there, how the hell do you know? Is fat good? Is fat bad? Are eggs good now or still bad?

“I think I got it, I got the strength to carry on.” You are feeling good. You are getting motivated. It’s working well. You feel awesome! You are working through the demons.

“I need a drink and a quick decision.” That’s the bad thing about drinking, we usually make bad decisions. Hellooooooo Cheez-Its. Usually there is something more going on. We overeat or over drink because of unresolved issues. Sort that shit out. OR we are just going all out since we made the decision to step it up. I don’t recommend this, but you can bet most of us do this. The old, I will start Monday, thing. Yeah. Knock that shit off. Just start.

“Now it’s up to me, ooh, what will be.” It’s all up to you, it’s all in your hands. You are the only one who has control of what you are going to do with your health, with your life, with anything. Nobody can do it for you.

“Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away.” Get rid of those negative thoughts that consume you. In order to move on you need to move on. That means away from negative thinking, away from self sabotage, away from feeling not good enough. Let’s get over this already. We are awesome!

“She’s gone – what went wrong, I’d pay the devil to replace her.” Pull the trigger. Break up with your old self. Break up with processed food. Break up with pop (Yep, I will call it that until I die.) Break up with the things that are holding you back. Break up with that mental chatter. Break up with the clutter. I know you can. The old life is so tempting. Don’t give in.

Have you figured out the song yet? She’s Gone by Hall and Oates. What do you think? Nutrition song or just a good old fashioned break up song?

Ran Into An Old Friend At The New Coffee Place

Do you ever wonder what happened to people in your life? More specifically, people you grew up with. When I was growing up and we moved to the Prospect house, there was a family who lived literally a half a block away from us. The Klein family. Tony and Lavern. They had a daughter my age and another daughter my younger sister’s age. We played with them all the time. They also had other siblings, but they were older, Chris and Cathy, and one younger. Her name was Amy. Barb was my age and Cindy was my sister’s age. They were a strong hard working family with great values.

The house they lived in was really cool. It was green on the outside and you had to walk up about 20 steps to get to the front door. If you went around the back though it was level to the ground. It was an old house with a lot of different rooms. There was even a secret basement. I remember we could go through the kitchen down some secret stairs and then there was a door in the wall we opened to get to the basement.

I spent a lot of time at the Klein house. They had such a cool family. Tony and Lavern were awesome parents. They made those kids work. I remember them having to do the dishes before they could play or go do something. I remember learning a cool trick about dish soap bubbles in the sink. If you used cold water it washed the bubbles down really fast. Hot water made them worse.

I also remember there was kind of a porch room. You had to go through french doors to get there. Right before that was a winding narrow staircase that went down to the basement. The normal people way, not the secret kitchen way. If you went to the left there was a small TV room. That’s where you would find Tony most of the time. I can picture him sitting in his chair, watching golf, drink in one hand and a smoke in the other. Tony was cool. Seriously.

The porch room is where they kept the piano. I always wanted to learn how to play piano. Barb had to practice so I would sit and watch. There was a metronome on the piano, to help keep the rhythm. I used to pretend that I could play. I pretended I could read the music. I may have mastered Chopsticks. That’s the extent of my piano playing.

We used to play outside all the time. The yard was full of fruit trees. Apple and cherry and I think maybe a peach tree too. We used to listen to music and then make up dances to the songs. I’m sure we were amazing.

We were so innocent and we were so allowed to enjoy our childhood. That is called great parenting.

Barb had the prettiest golden blond hair. She was kind of like Skipper, the barbie doll. Skipper was Barbie’s younger sister. Anyway, that’s who I think of when I think of kid Barb.

When I saw adult Barb today, she looked as beautiful as ever. She commented about not having any makeup on. My thought was who cares. She looked great. She looked happy. She looked like Barb. She told me she is living overseas now. She said she quit her job last year and moved. I admire that courage. I love it when people follow their hearts.

I did learn a bit of sad news about her dad. He is struggling with some health problems. Barb was back to help take care of things and for a family visit. It is kind of sad when the tables turn and we, now adults, turn into the caretakers of our parents. Things come full circle and sometimes it really sucks.

So many memories of that family came flooding back when I saw Barb and her mom today. That family helped to shape me and I will be forever grateful for them. They are a beautiful family.

Thanks for the memories Barbie Doll.


Every once in a while I like to share an email that I send to my list of subscribers. I share this because I feel it is an important issue and also that I received a lot of feedback about it. That shows me it is important. If you want to receive these types of emails every week, I encourage you to sign up to become a member of my main list. You will receive the most up-to-date information from me.  Click the link and please sign up. Actually, I think you have to copy and paste it into your browse. I think you will be happy about your decision 🙂
How my body looks does not define me as a person. It doesn’t define me as a wife, as a mom, or as a trainer…right now I’m in shape, but I’m not going to ever be perfect, and I’m actually okay with that.

We see it all the time in the media and in fitness magazines. Body image and how you should look. Why is it up to them to tell us how we should look? In other words how society thinks we should look. I think this is absolute bullshit. Why does anyone else have permission to comment on how they think someone should look? Or actually comments about it. I get that sometimes people are trying to compliment people. Okay. I don’t have a problem with that, but why is it usually if someone has lost weight or something like that and someone tells that person, “Wow! You look great.” Does that mean the person looked like crap before? See my point. I realize this can be a pretty touchy subject and it will make you question everything you say to anyone. Not trying to be an asshole here. Just want people to become more aware of what comes out of their mouths and how it can affect someone. Because, even if someone has lost a lot of weight, they still might not be in a great head space to listen to some of the things people say to them. It takes A LOT of work to get through that stuff.

It seems like if someone is overweight, the perception is that they are lazy. I think this is far from the truth. How do we know what is going on in their life? How do we know how they sleep? How do we know how much stress they have going on? How do we know anything about that person? What if that person works out every day?What if that person eats healthy? And OMG, what if that person likes they way they are at this chapter of their life? Just because someone isn’t the normal considered by society, it doesn’t mean they want to be that. Guess what? We can like ourselves just the way we are.

The opposite can also be true. If someone is “skinny,” society’s version of skinny, then we think they are perfect. I also think that is far from the truth. How do we know what is going on with that person? Maybe she has an eating disorder because she has so much pressure to be “skinny.” Also, we don’t know her story. What if she eats like crap? What if she gets no sleep? And OMG, what if she is trying to gain weight?

We just don’t know what chapter anyone is on in their life. We don’t get to judge. It really is none of our business.

One time I was walking out of my office and there were some guys working on the building. One of them came running up to me, which I thought was strange to begin with. Once he opened his mouth, I couldn’t believe what was coming out of it. I thought for sure he was just going to ask me about the building or something like that. Instead, I got this: “Don’t take this the wrong way, but how much can you deadlift?”
(By the way, starting with, don’t take this the wrong way, is a sure bet that it is going to be taken the “wrong” way. I find it incredibly funny when people say it. I think we mean well, but it seems that almost always, it doesn’t go over well.)

Seriously! You want to know how much I can deadlift? It kind of stunned me for a second. I could tell he wasn’t trying to be a dick or a smart ass or anything. But, it just threw me that he felt the need to comment on my appearance. Even though I like my muscles, it doesn’t give someone else the right to comment. It’s my body. It’s my choice on how I make it look. I did answer him though. I told him 185. At that time I was going through a deadlift and pressing program. Apparently my hard work showed. But still…my point is words are an amazing thing. On one hand they can do a lot of good, but on the other they can really hurt someone.

At that chapter in my life, I didn’t have my shit together. I wasn’t perfectly fine with my appearance and my fitness and nutrition journey. I thought a lot about his words. I started to play that damn head game. You know the one, you start that negative talk to yourself, “Wow, you must look fat and huge.” So, then the game goes further, you start second guessing everything you have been doing. You let it mind fuck you into thinking you are too big, or too fat or you should hit the next Weight Watcher’s meeting, stat!

Words say a lot.

In my line of business it isn’t all about how someone looks. It is also about how they feel, how much energy they have, how much sleep they get, how much stress is going on in their life. It can’t be just one thing. It just can’t. Fitness and health mean a lot of different things and focusing only on how someone looks doesn’t even begin to cover it. Ever.

Not everyone who comes to me wants to lose weight. Most people want to get healthy.

I have learned a lot over my years of training. I am still learning every single day. It really is amazing to see women’s, and men’s perceptions of their own bodies. It is actually pretty sad sometimes how we have been brainwashed to believe we are supposed to be skinny and men are supposed to be giant. Screw that! I want women and men to be comfortable in their own skin. I want them to feel healthy. I want them to feel empowered. We all weren’t meant to look the same. We are all different. Let’s own how we look. We have the power to change if we don’t like it. That’s the beauty of our journeys. We can constantly evolve. With our own permission.

If you have any comments or thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Click the link below if you want to see more like this.

My Eating Style Is My Own


I am not even going to label my food style. It’s what I choose. It’s how I choose to eat. My eating style has changed in the last year. It is customized for me.

I used to eat paleo pretty strict most of the time. I really like how my body responded to paleo and I still eat that way a lot. In fact, I prefer meat and vegetables and good fat for my meals. But sometimes I get in a mood for something different. I eat oatmeal or oat bran a few times a week, sometimes. Some weeks I don’t eat it all. I eat a ton of vegetables and I love meat. Steak and chicken mainly. I do eat fish once in a while too.

While I believe there is a time and a place for hardcore, super strict eating, I am not there at this point in my life. I eat more intuitively these days. If I am really in tune with my body and listening to what it is telling me, it’s all there. If I want a piece of candy, I eat the candy. It’s usually a mini Kit Kat or a Reese’s. I eat one and I am done. Most days I don’t care at all about candy. I probably eat it once every few months. I really do not have a sweet tooth. Sometimes it may be six months.

If I want rice sometimes, I will eat rice. I don’t eat it all the time. It’s not the norm for me. I usually get my complex carbs from sweet potatoes or regular potatoes. Again, IF my body is asking for them. If not, I get my carbs from vegetables. I am perfectly fine with that. I love vegetables.

Everyone’s bodies are different. For example, I don’t do much dairy, other than cream in my coffee, which by the way I have adapted in the last year. I used to do straight black coffee. I always joked about that, saying, “I like my coffee black, like my heart.” I guess it’s moving into the gray area. I can’t do a lot of dairy though because my stomach reacts.

As someone who had a full blown eating disorder when I was in high school, it has taken me a while to figure out my eating style and how foods affect me. I actually enjoy the process. It is super interesting. Nutrition shouldn’t be something we are scared of. It shouldn’t be something we struggle with. I think most of us know what is good for us and what obviously isn’t.

A typical day for me is either oatmeal and eggs for breakfast, or just eggs with vegetables. Lunch is a giant salad with chicken and drizzled with olive oil. Supper is vegetables, chicken or steak and sweet potatoes. That’s where I am right now. I am into single foods. Not recipes. With my incredibly packed schedule, it is working for me and takes the headache out of trying to figure out what to make. It is so easy for me to have chicken on hand and cooked, just waiting to marry it up with some vegetables and good fat. The last two days I had greek yogurt and berries for breakfast. Different for me, but just hungry for it. It is kind of cool to eat according to what your body tells you.

I would caution though that just because I am eating pretty much what I want, I adhere to portion control. As long as I am eating unprocessed foods and in reasonable quantities, I have been feeling great and am at a good point in my nutrition journey.

My nutrition coaching adheres to the same principles. Individual and tailored to you.

How do you eat? Do you listen to your body? Have you tried intuitive eating?